Fostering a Relationship with Your Creativity with Heather Parady
On this week’s Level Up! With Shay, I am honored to introduce you to Heather Parady, a podcaster, heart-centered creative, and unconventional leader. Heather shares her experience of wanting to be a therapist but realizing the 9-5 life was not what she wanted. She took a deep dive into the online space as a photographer and helped therapists and coaches build online programs. We talk a lot about creativity, the biggest hurdles people face when creating an online presence and building a community, whether to know if your idea is a good or bad one, and why fostering a deep relationship with your creativity is so important to creating good, meaningful work. For the first time ever, Heather shares some of her recent writing, which she wants to do more of and she also sings a little bit for us.
I hope you enjoy our conversation and if anything that Heather says resonates with you, please share this episode on Instagram and tag me @levelupwithshay and Heather @heatherparady.
Thank you so much for being here. It’s time to level up.
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Heather Parady’s links
Website: https://www.heatherparady.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherparady/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heatherparady
NFTs for Newbies: https://www.nfts4newbies.com/
Happy Brain: https://tlbc.co/happy-brain/
Join her for a Community Building Coffee Chat: https://www.heatherparady.com/coffeechat
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Timestamps
03:04 Heather talks about being shy as a child and also wanting to become a figure skater
06:52 Why Heather got into therapy
10:28 Creative freedom
13:38 Heather talks about the biggest thing that she’s proud of
15:36 What being faithful to creativity means to Heather
19:56 Biggest problem or hurdle for putting out work
21:07 How to stay neutral in your work
24:17 Action equals feedback
26:58 How to use trends and stay authentic
28:56 Good idea versus bad idea
37:17 Setting boundaries
40:03 The issue of connection and belonging with ourselves
40:35 A few things Heather is currently doing to level up including speaking and standing up more in situations where she feels intimidated
43:02 Advice to somebody who is creative
Transcription
Shay 00:00
Hello and welcome to Level Up! With Shay. I'm a comedian, entrepreneur and lover of personal growth here to share stories on my level of journey bring other fascinating and inspirational artists and creatives to share their story and to help you realize your potential take action and fulfill your biggest dreams. Today's guest is one of the most unconventional creatives I've met and that's not by accident. Her name is Heather Parady. Heather has been featured in Forbes Pop Sugar and leaders in heels where she talks about podcasting, in which she has over 1000 episodes under her belt and her hilarious TikTok channel where she has over 49,000 followers and over 1 million likes. Heather started out as a therapist but after going on a few interviews and realizing she was going to be needed eight hours a day, five days a week in an office, she knew that wasn't what she wanted. She took a leap and dived into the online space as a photographer and freelancer as well as starting her own podcast unconventional leaders in which she released over 500 episodes by herself. Now that is dedication. Heather and a co-host started a brand new podcast in 2021 called NFTs for newbies, the podcast caught fire and they passed 850,000 downloads in just seven months. And if you don't know that is wild, she also hosts a podcast called Happy Brain through the Tiny Leaps network where she interviews mental health experts who share quick and fun mental health tips we can use to live a healthier life. She is now really focused on community building in web three and bringing good people to that space. I met Heather doing a 72 Hour Film Festival and we instantly clicked over podcasting, entrepreneurship and just being creative and silly. In this episode, she shares some of her writing and sings a little song unconventional to say the least, I am so excited for you to hear all the wisdom she shares about listening to yourself fostering a relationship with your creativity and the benefits of doing all the things you enjoy and making them your own. So please welcome to Level Up! with Shay Heather Parady. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Level Up! with Shay. I have a genius creative person here - Heather Parady. Genius do you get, do you get nervous by the word genius? Because I think you are not.
Heather Parady 02:25
It's just not true, not true at all. But I appreciate you. You're very kind.
Shay 02:30
I tell lies. Okay, well, I'm so excited. I was just telling her before this, that I brand up the whole bunch of questions that I have for her that I think will really help out people who are creatives who are facing hurdles or challenges with their creativity and with their work and getting it out into the world. So I want to start with your childhood. And I just want to know generally like what were you like as a child? Do you remember dreams that you had as a child? You know, were you like a free spirit, kind of like you are right now. What did that look like?
Heather Parady 03:05
Um, I was really shy. And I was really insecure. I didn't have a lot of friends. And I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up until one of them broke. No, it was one of them. I don't remember who it was or what happened. I think it was Nancy Kerrigan, cardigan. I'm wearing a cardigan. Somebody took like a hammer and bang some girls needed. Remember that? And then I was like, I don't want to be a figure skater. Well, no, I wanted to do something beautiful and graceful and all that. And yeah, it was very clumsy and shy. And I had banks up here, and I was homeschooled. So it didn't work out for me.
Shay 03:43
You were homeschooled. Do you have siblings?
Heather Parady 03:46
I do a little sister. Well, she's a younger sibling, a younger sister. Yeah.
Shay 03:50
Yeah, not little anymore is what you're saying.
Heather Parady 03:53
But when you grow up, they're always your little brother. They're always your little sister. It's always big, little and all that like you don't see them any differently.
Shay 04:00
Yeah, I get that. With her around, did you feel like the older child like you were setting an example for her at all or kind of taking charge? Did you ever feel that
Heather Parady 04:12
I was bossy, naturally. And I see that in my oldest daughter right now. And I don't think I would have recognized that I am responsible for her. It's just like a natural position that you get put in. But also two little siblings are a little maintenance. So you kind of have to stand your ground because they're acting like they don't know what to do. They act like they don't know what's right and wrong, but they're really just miss like they act to get into mischief. The older siblings are just trying to protect themselves from the younger siblings. If my sister heard that she would start spitting right now, because she disagrees but it's the truth.
Shay 04:44
I'm gonna send this directly to her afterwards.
Heather Parady 04:48
Please do.
Shay 04:49
I mean I'm the oldest of step siblings of five step siblings by 10 years and they they are always trying to get into mischief and trouble. I feel like more than I did. So okay, so that's really all I wanted to know about your childhood. Okay, it's a hardquestion.
Heather Parady 05:05
So weird. What made you interested about that, specifically? I want to know.
Shay 05:14
Because I think that as children, we dream, and we are able to have that free spirit. So I think because I think of my experience, I was a very free spirit as a child. And I would go around, I would be on stage with my mom singing. And you know, I wanted I looked at the TV, I watch TV and watch Jim Carrey and Liar, liar, and Big Daddy with Adam Sandler like I was into all of that comedy. So I kind of knew, Okay, that's a dream that I have. But then I went through life, and then I grew up. Yeah. And that dream and that desire was kind of stopped. You know, it's kind of blocked.
Heather Parady 05:55
Yeah, that's what I wanted to say is, yeah, when you're a kid, it's like, oh, I'm going to be a figure skater. But then at some point, I don't know when it is in your teenage years, like the possibility of something happening. It's it just it's not there anymore. You don't think like that? You don't think that you actually could do XYZ? And it's not? I don't think because since I necessarily always told you. It's just something switches in your brain. And it's like, oh, what are my options here?
Shay 06:20
Yeah, I wonder if it's because you're surrounded by people who are working office jobs, desk jobs, you know, that's what your parents did. That's what your friend's parents did. Because then you see all these people who are figure skaters or who are these, you know, younger actors, they are surrounding themselves with other figure skaters that are going to practice just other athletes in general. Yeah, it's the norm. Okay. Well, thank you for sharing. And so moving on, you're a therapist. So what made you want to get into therapy?
Heather Parady 06:52
I wanted to be a nurse to then ANP at a community college almost ruined my life. And I was like, if I can't make it through ANP, one at a community college in Little Rock, Arkansas, I probably shouldn't be a nurse, would you want me being your nurse? Probably not. So then I was like, What am I going to do with my life? Because that's what I was going to do was being a nurse because I wanted to help people. And people who are bleeding need help? Well, I took a psychology class on the side, just because it was like the only class available and I freaking fell in love with it. It was the best class in the world, I was that person at the front asking questions and just enjoying it way too much. So I said, this is what I wanted to do. And I think it was it was this combination of this is how you can help people. But it got to the root in the core of a lot of issues that we all deal with. Right? And really dictates every single bit of our life. So so that's why later on I as it's not that I don't enjoy therapy, and I don't enjoy aspects of it. I just kind of became fascinated with psychology, beyond diagnosis and beyond problems and beyond struggles, like getting into the creative side of things like what's that all about? You know, what makes you Shay want to torture yourself over a pen and a paper and write jokes and go stand in front of strangers? And where do you get inspiration from? And what kind of courage does that take to go the unconventional path your own life? Like that's an interesting conversation, too. So I think this psychology topic fascinates people, because it's the root and the core, it's all of our story, right. But it's also I think, deserves a bigger place in our society outside of just a therapy room.
Shay 08:36
Yeah, I love that. And I was going to ask, you know, kind of that part about the diagnosis type thing, because I went, after I got my MBA, I went back to school for a semester, a semester and a half to be a dietitian, a registered dietitian, because I really, at that time, I dealt with a lot of eating disorders, eating issues, that I wanted to help myself understand what that meant, and help other people, you know, in that arena. So I was just wondering, you know, that was also a reason why you got into therapy, because you're like, I also want to fix some part of me that I feel is broken.
Heather Parady 09:23
No. And that's the whole arrogant ego thing of it, which is so ironic. Not definitely not everybody, but I felt a lot of people in my cohort was more of like, how do we help people and towards the end of the training, we realized we all needed help. So it was kind of like when there's like the savior mentality, which I had a really bad savior mentality, you know, being in ministry and all that of like, I'm here to help you with your issues, and then realizing, Oh, the best way for me to help the world is to frickin help my own self, so I wouldn't have even told you I had any issues, like real deep issues until after school. And you know, I talk a lot about my own anxiety and stuff. My anxiety didn't make itself known or really transformed my life. I come into my life until I ventured out on my own a couple years ago, I hadn't really dealt with anxiety prior to that. So no, maybe subconsciously, but consciously No, I wouldn't have I wouldn't have told you that or thought that.
Shay 10:22
And so, what did you move into after therapy? Was this the just a couple years ago? You're talking about?
Heather Parady 10:28
Yeah, it was four or five years ago, I think? Well, I just wanted to make something on my own. I didn't like the idea of going to a job, which I know is just like the most privileged, almost arrogant thing to even think of like, why wouldn't you want to go work? You know what I mean, but I had gotten addicted, spoiled to living life, kind of on my own terms. I was going to school and I had started a business on the side. And I was making really good money as a photographer. I mean, I was traveling, I was going out of state for different gigs. I think I was shot in like seven different states. Like, it was amazing. And I was like, Why in the world? I went to a couple job interviews, and they were like, You got to be here eight to five? And I'm like, No, I'm not, you know, and it is just again, I know, this is a very, like, privileged thing. Because you know, there's, it's hard making a living on your own and not going to work. I mean, it's a very, very hard thing to do. But I was like, I want to do I want to be my own boss, I want freedom. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be able to do things on a Tuesday, if I want to go do things on a Tuesday, I want creative freedom. There's things I just wanted to put out into the world and didn't want a manual. I think I think people like us are just kind of a little rebellious. You know what I mean? Almost, it's a very audacious thing. But I started ultimately, a energy wise sitting with people for hours and hours and hours was really getting to me, I would feel emotionally drained at the end of the day, and you have to pay attention to how you feel, you know what I mean? Like if you went on stage and did jokes, or made, you know, made skits, and wrote and did all the things that you do, if at the end of every day, you just felt depleted. Like I'm sure you're tired, but there's a difference between tired and depleted. Go pay attention to that. So there was that element along with just really wanted to make something. So what I did is I had a couple of job offers, and I turned them down. And then I cried a lot. And I was like, I'm an idiot, I had now I'm making no money. I was gonna make good money now making no money, what do I do? And I just start taking freelance jobs, anything I could do online to make money, period, so I did podcast editing, I did social media stuff. I did admin things for people who didn't have time. I mean, I did anything and everything. And I picked that fast people need help. So I did that for a few years. And then I started kind of transitioning into more of the strategic side of stuff and helping people build out, you know, things from a strategy perspective. So instead of them giving me work to do, I was actually helping them strategize stuff and pardon for that I did a few masterminds in a few courses. I never made like a million dollars doing it, but enough to you know, make some money. And so that's what I've been doing for the past few years and kind of transitioning and pivoting along the way.
Shay 13:25
Yeah, love that. That though, that's creative work, those gigs that you took, how were you creative in your work? How did you start being creative in that way? Was that with your unconventional leaders podcast? Is that how it started?
Heather Parady 13:38
I would say the biggest work that I've done up to this point, I've had a lot of little projects, different things I've done here and there. I mean, I can countless creative projects I've done but I think the biggest thing that I'm most proud of that I could say I did that was the unconventional leaders podcast. So that was a, I would say a labor of love. I definitely spent way more money on that than I ever made from it, and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of work. And I meant every single one of those hours I just said because I want you to feel that in your bones when I say it, because people are like, Oh yeah, a lot of work. But they don't realize when we were talking about years of late nights and spending your Saturday nights editing things and making effing snip clips, he put on IG that 13 people like you know what I mean? Like, that's the grind y'all and that's the reality. And it was it was incredible. And I'm so grateful for every moment of that. We ended the show the end of last year, just for a variety of reasons, but we put in well over 500 episodes, I forgot the specific count, but got to interview people on that on TikTok all the way to people that I've loved forever, like Sam Jones from off camera and Seth Godin and Jack Canfield, and those kinds of people, so just like an incredible honor that show but yeah, that was probably my biggest creative outlet.
Shay 15:07
We talked a few weeks ago at New Year's actually. And you mentioned the word faithful. And I don't know if you remember that moment, but that really hit me. That word faithful, because it's putting in work without a promise of success, really. So I just want to know, what does the word faithful? What does that mean to you overall? And what does it mean to you like, day to day,
Heather Parady 15:36
it's a relationship that you'd have with your work, and us viewing it as an intimate, getting in the sack with your work, like, as senior naked asks like, morning breath, were you on your worst day, you and your best day, that kind of intimate relationship that you have experienced in life with different people, you have to have that kind of relationship, I believe, with your creative work where you know, I get that thing we need to, you know, I'm big on preaching things and you feel good, and come on Abraham Hicks and light and energy and all that for sure a 100%. But if we abandon every single thing, when things got hard, we would never have real relationships in our lives. And we never have a real relationship with ourselves, because I'm not pretty all the time or an awesome all the time. So if you look at it, like a spiritual, intimate relationship with your creative work, that's what faithful means to me. So you know, if I'm going to build a really close relationship with you, Shay and things get hard, and I bounce here and there, and I go see you here and there or whatever, I'm an asshole for it. You know what I mean? But when I'm faithful to you, that you can tell me your secrets. And I'm not going to tell anybody, we can get into fights, but still work through it. Like it's literally a relationship with your creative work. So that's what faithful means to me.
Shay 16:56
Yeah, I love that. Thank you. And it just reminds me just so many times where I've sat down and edited videos of my own, or even podcasts, and just seeing yourself, you really have to learn how to love it, and love yourself. So what was one of the biggest problems or hurdles that you came across? When you were getting into that unconventional leaders work?
Heather Parady 17:27
I think it's the same problem that I still have with it. I don't know if it's gonna go away. But it's this weird connection with money and your creativity. I think that's probably one of the biggest, most real barriers that I have had to face and still facing, where there's no right or wrong Shay at all. So what I'm about to say is just my own perception, my own experience, but I have like people who are really close to me who are like, I don't want to create unless it's making money. And I respect that. And I almost envy it. Because I'm like, if I was a little more like that, I'd probably be Richard, you know what I'm saying? No, I wouldn't be. But um, the the relationship with money and your creative work, I think is what's the most difficult is figuring out, you know, sometimes you're not going to make money, doing your creative work. I think that's the end goal. And I think we can definitely get there and we want to get there. But there are there are seasons where you just don't. And maybe it's a very long runway before you do. And so figuring out how do I work on these side gigs and edit these podcasts or make these videos or go to Starbucks and work? And how do I manage that keep my own mental health sane, but still, you know, be faithful to that intimate relationship with my creativity, and not putting the pressure on your creativity that it has to make you money too. And that's hard, you know, because I love this analogy for relationship like, you know, if I'm telling my creativity, oh, you have to be XYZ for me. That's almost it's it's not unconditional, you know what I mean? But ideally, you want to be with your creativity all the time. You don't want to have to go to work and not be with your creativity. But somebody's gonna pay the bills, you know, I'm saying so I think that's the most frustrating thing, because you're a human being at the end of the day. And I think the societal pressure to that. If it's not making you money, it's not worth something. And people who aren't in this world don't get how long it actually takes. So I think that's probably the biggest thing I've dealt with personally.
Shay 19:26
Yeah, the money, the money thing, and like, how long is it going to take? Yeah, not having that deadline of well, I'll give myself five years and if it doesn't, and because that just kind of takes creativity away and it's just a lot of pressure on it. So working with other people and helping them strategize and all of that. What do you think is there the people that you've worked with what have you seen as their biggest problem or hurdle for putting out work?
Heather Parady 19:56
I would say overall lack of clarity of what they're doing doing here and owning how it helps people. So I think the lack of clarity is a fear. And I've been guilty of that, too, where it will say we don't really, you know, kind of be vague about whatever. But it's really because it's terrifying to put your stake in the ground and really own. This is what I do. This is exactly how I help people and like, say that confidently. So I think the lack of clarity is probably the biggest, the biggest thing that I've seen, and just a deep insecurity that this doesn't matter. You know what I mean? Like, we're all wanting that validation that this is good. And I'm No, I want that. Like, I've been running around all week trying to get people's validation on stuff. And it's like, it's not coming. And the interesting thing is, even when they give it to you, it doesn't mean anything, is the validation you're looking for isn't satisfied with with an outside source. It's supposed to come from within, you know, and we all know that, like, it's a really cute Wayne Dyer quote, but like actually feeling it is completely different. So that, hey will, is this good? Is this okay? Is this worth anything? That's what we're all dealing with?
Shay 21:07
Yeah. And I think with that, when we see numbers on Instagram, or TikTok, when we see a lot of numbers, we get really excited. And when we don't see those numbers, we're like, oh, that was bad or whatever. How do you stay neutral? In that? You know, when you're putting stuff out? How do you stay neutral between a viral video and then the next one, you get 20 views?
Heather Parady 21:31
Yeah, I think that's just putting in the work and being a practitioner, because after a while, it doesn't mean so much. I think if you dabble in things, it's easier to be swayed by numbers. But I think if you're a real practitioner, and you're faithful with your creativity, you have a way more grounded sense, just because you've just been exposed to it more. So I get excited when things like take off and go viral, but not nearly to the extent that I used to when I first started because I realized, you know, I mean, I've had it's almost 10 million views. I have a video on Facebook right now that was has 10 freaking million views. And you know, what's happened from that? Nothing? Absolutely. Nothing has happened from that. It feels good. It's cool to think like, oh, 10 million people, whatever. But doesn't mean shit like it. And I mean, I've had it wasn't a one time thing, like, we've had a lot of videos pop for you just realize through reps that it's like these little, you know, you get a burst of energy throughout your day, and like you sweep the floor, a little more diligently. It's like that. It's like this little burst. Oh, cool. Nice. But you know, like, it's not going to clean your whole house. You know, I don't know, any tricks or hacks other than repetition. I just think that there's Seth Godin talks about being a professional, creative. You know what I mean? And I think really taking on that mantle that I'm a professional, before you feel like you are so instead of saying, oh, one day, I'm going to be a comedian, you're like, I am a professional comedian. And just seeing yourself like that. You're way more grounded. And you don't get easily moved by things. Not saying you're not a human. You don't get upset, but viral stuff doesn't really get me any more like hell yeah, I want something to go viral. But I know personally doesn't mean anything.
Shay 23:19
Yeah. And I love that perspective of seeing yourself as that professional already. Because yeah, I feel like I've felt that at times, and I am less less swayed, because I'm more focused on the work. And on people's reaction to the work.
Heather Parady 23:37
Yeah, and you know, like the real the real people who are in the trenches. And this is this is, there's a light and a dark side of this too. So not really advocating for this. It's just the truth. We're always on to the next thing. You know what I mean? Like Jerry Seinfeld writes, and amazing bit, he gets a laugh. Do you think that he's like, No, he's thinking about his next set and how to improve it. It's all data failure, status, successes, data, everything's data that's just crafting us, and helping us pivot to become a little bit better every single time so. yeah, and I think that's how I've started thinking of social media now is things I've put out, I'm just testing stuff. A hundred percent.
Shay 24:17
I have on my whiteboard right here. Action equals feedback, which is something that you said in a workshop and I've always kept that in mind, because it's like, you're not going to know anything, you're not gonna have any more answers. You're not gonna learn if you don't take action and put yourself out there.
Heather Parady 24:37
That's why What should I do is like the worst question ever. It really is because nobody knows, you know what I mean? Like we can do educated guesses on what you should do next. Will Smith one that hit I haven't read the book, but somebody posted this clip and they said that, you know, all feedback is prior experience like just regurgitating prior experience. So if you told me, I'm going to be the owner of a franchise of Starbucks or whatever. What should I do next, I'm going to pull from my own previous experience of people I know who've owned franchises what I thought I think about Starbucks, what I heard on YouTube one time, and all I'm doing is taking my past experience and throwing it up on you. And Will Smith says that, that's cool, because there's probably wisdom in there. But it lacks possibility. And it lacks imagination, because we're just pulling from a warehouse of stored things that happened in the past. So it's interesting when you think about that. So what should I do next? We're always pulling from our past and pulling from our fear, as opposed to tapping in to something maybe a little bit more interesting, which is something that maybe hasn't been thought of, or hasn't been done, or hasn't been experienced. So what should you do next? What are you curious about? You know, that's what I've been asking myself lately, because I'm in a really weird season in my life right now. And I don't know what to do next. So I keep hearing and I think it's Elizabeth Gilbert, her spirits with me, but she's just like, What are you curious about right now? Can we trust that? Are we brave enough to act on that?
Shay 26:08
Yeah, I love that. So how do you because I will say I love this, because with myself, making videos and writing a script or a sketch, you know, I'll look at other people. And then I'll look at what I made. I'm like, man, this is so different than what other people have made. Is this going to be okay. You know, but I get so excited about that, because that's me, it's 100% me. It's not looking at, it's an idea that I have, and I make it into a video. It's not something that I saw online, and I'm trying to recreate that. So trends are such a big thing online right now. How do you stay authentic? And also use trends? Like how do you stay neutral? With that?
Heather Parady 26:58
Great question. I think I think of trends as a tool, not the message. Okay, so tools and messages are two different things. So I'm going to use trends as a vehicle and a tool to get my message my creativity out into the world. Okay, so let's say that there is a, for instance, I just posted in this was a film, look it up. It's not the greatest real, I just put it out there was a little blue, but there was some pizza, these people dancing or whatever. So I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna do this little dance. And then what do I want to say in that? So the dance, the little thing that we did was just the trend, just the tool. But me adding my message in there, which was about spirituality, like a caption was like when your friend tells you that they're starting to tap into spirituality in your life, you know what I mean? So those are two different things. I think we become inauthentic when you think, oh, what's going to pop here with my message, right, as opposed to pausing and asking yourself and I mean, literally pausing, I do this Shay, I swear to God, pausing and closing your eyes and getting still and listening and say, What do I want to say here? Now, when that's compromised, your sell out? Or you're selling out? I mean, not label you. You're, you know what I mean. But I think that's important. But I think we don't need to demonize tools either because they're cool vehicles to get our message out there. So that's the distinction that I make in my own mind. And sometimes, like earlier, I was making a real today's real batch day. And I felt really stuck. I did a little trim thing. And I was I had an idea for how I could spin it. But the words just weren't coming to me. And I put that mother in drafts. You know what I mean? Because I'm like, I don't want to post something or get something ready to just do it. Like, I want it to be like something resonates with me. And it's not always like, perfect, because then we'll never post out anything, right. But it also didn't like it felt I was saying something to say it. And how much of the internet is just filled with people saying things to say it?
Shay 28:56
Yeah. What is the difference between a good idea and a bad idea? How do you know when something is a good idea versus a bad idea?
Heather Parady 29:06
You know, we can go the whole like, there's no bad ideas, all it is to say that, but I think what's coming to me right now is I'm thinking of something that's like burst within you versus something that's imposed on you that you feel kind of obligated to. And I'm not saying people can't give you ideas and give you wisdom. But if it doesn't like really resonate with you and let something birth up inside of you, then I think it's something not necessarily to be quote bad. But to be weary of, I think of ideas is like living entities. And that's totally stolen from like, Liz Gilbert and Julia Cameron and all of our people fist bumped my people love them so much. And it's like what do we want to breathe life into? Because an idea you know, Elizabeth Gilbert will say that an idea if it's not taken seriously by me might go on to you. And so it's like, we're almost taking ownership of ideas like do I want that idea to reside in me and me to take action on it? Or do I want it to pass to somebody else? And so I don't think I don't think it's necessarily good or bad. It's just like, do I want to take this on? You know, is that where you're asking?
Shay 30:13
I think, because people will question like, is this a good idea? Or is this a bad idea? And they'll overthink things to where they won't take action? So just wondering, yeah, what is the feeling of like, a good idea, okay, I know when this is a good idea, and I know when this is a bad idea, or this isn't the right time for this idea.
Heather Parady 30:35
So I had an idea the other day, and I didn't know if it was one I should, because it's a pretty big deal. It's like something that's going to take me several months to do and potentially make me look really stupid in front of a lot of people. So I'm like, is this a good idea? Or is this a bad idea if I had that, because I go out running, and get all these ideas when I'm running, because all these weird, hormonal things are happening in my head. So I know, Chase, Jarvis recommends, you know, when you get an idea, sit with it for 24 hours before you think I tell anybody and I didn't take his advice, I went ahead and DM to one of my friends and tried to ask their opinion on it. And I got some good feedback. But you know, what happens is when you've told me about your ideas, they always give you a whole bunch of feedback, which just makes you more confused. But with this particular idea, I made a promise to myself, because I'm the opposite of most people, most people get an idea. And like overthink it, and they don't do anything with it, I would say that's usually pretty common. I have another issue, which is just as bad where I don't think about it enough. And I just do it, like your girl have an LLC a logo and be announcing it about three hours later. And I don't think things through enough. I'm a cliff jumper. So made me knowing that about myself, I gave myself a deadline that I wouldn't take action on this for another two weeks. And I was going to sit with it and think about it and just really let it simmer and then decide if this was something I want to take on. Because most people can make anything work. Like if we really wanted to like unless it's something absolutely crazy, like I'm gonna go ski on the moon or something. If you're committed, like human intention is really powerful, powerful. And if we're aligned, and we make a decision, and we really tune into that, and we set the intention, there's so many things that are way closer in our grasp than what we realize. Right. So again, back to my original point, we have to just really ask ourselves, is this what I want to align with? But the problem is, most people just don't end up doing anything to your to your point, which I have no interest in really discussing that because there's nothing I can do or say that will move them period. I'm done. I used to be like, I'm going to help motivate people. I'm done. I have zero interest motivate anybody who doesn't care, and doesn't want to put out something. Nope. Enjoy your life.
Shay 32:57
Yeah, I used to be that way to like giving them advice or trying to motivate them into doing something and then it's like, they get annoyed with me. I got annoyed with them like this is not working out. So what are some positive things about not picking a lane and putting your hands in so many different projects? Because I know we've talked about how both of us love to do multiple things at one time, whereas we've heard that vise just pick one thing, but we feel fulfilled doing multiple things. So yeah, what are some positives that you've found about putting your hands in multiple things?
Heather Parady 33:38
I think if anything brings you joy, and you want to do it, do it. Don't listen to people like yeah, you might not be a billionaire one day, but I love James Victori said yesterday in a workshop he said, Don't make being a millionaire, your goal. That's a very small goal. Make being a poet, your number one goal and then maybe number two, becoming a millionaire as a poet. And I loved that because we're putting the craft first as opposed to the money, which I think is a lot of the advice for picking something because it makes sense. I mean, I I've helped build multiple, you know, businesses online, and it's the truth, the more clear you are, like I said earlier, the more money you're going to make, but the perk so it is a downfall. You know, it's a little bit more difficult to scale things when you're doing multiple things, but the perk of it is pulling from different sources. I think it enriches your creativity. So if anybody knows anything about acting, you usually pull from something you pull from an experience you pull from exposure, right so me going and meeting Robert the other day and him sharing about his tattoo and that story and that experience and hearing that that's something that I pull in and could use to inform different parts of my life and we understand that relationally but I think creatively is a worthwhile pursuit to expose yourself to many, many things because it just enriches the work at your hand. So I think that's a part. Another part two is I don't think we really know what we like until we play, you know, you don't really know what you who you are and what you enjoy and all that and to kind of expose yourself to different things like I know many times I've just been proven wrong, I'll be like, Oh, I'm this, this this? And then I'll experience something and letting their mind I'm not that you know what I mean? Like, I always said that I was like an entrepreneur. I'm not an entrepreneur. I'm not. I'm a creative with entrepreneurial tendencies, period. You know, and I wouldn't have known that unless I had attended, you know, 100, freaking conferences and sat in a million workshops and actually worked with real entrepreneurs who only think about money and realize it, no, really, they only think about money. No, for real, like, for real, for real. There's nothing wrong with that. But for real, they wake up and think about that. And without exposure, I wouldn't have known that since it's a university on yourself. I think.
Shay 36:01
I love that, because that's the mean, I've have my MBA, and I feel like I've learned so much more through exposure and experience.
Heather Parady 36:12
Yeah.
Shay 36:12
And YouTube videos, and people relationships.
Heather Parady 36:15
And it makes you more empathetic too I mean, that's simply to get into just kind of the issues of the world is like, we don't have empathy for one another because we haven't been exposed to certain situations and really broaden our very, very narrow worldview. I told I've told you before, you would have hated me years ago, I was incredibly, and I still have judgment, obviously, in me a lot. That's like getting exposed constantly. But it only came through like relationships and experience that I started realizing like, oh, the world is way bigger than I thought. Right. So I think there's also that human element of exposure gives you greater empathy.
Shay 36:54
Yeah, yeah. I love that. Okay, so I know, you know, as a therapist, therapists focus on their patients problems, right, and helping them trying to solve them. And so how do you post therapists life, but now creative life? How do you set boundaries, to make sure that you are taken care of as well?
Heather Parady 37:17
Realizing that I can't help anybody, first and foremost, so we have to let go control that, like you just said, as a therapist, you try to help people work through their problems. I can't, as a therapist, I can't, as a coach, I can't, as a friend, Chris doe, we just interviewed him. And he was talking about education and education means to draw out. And so as educators, which I think we are as creatives and helpers, and so forth, our only role is to create an environment around us and energetically, and to facilitate a space where people can create their own change, and have their own healing. And honestly, that's the only change and healing worthwhile is the one that comes from within as opposed because otherwise, it's something we're gonna have to deconstruct later, because it was handed to us, and not something that was birthed within us. So I think, you know, that's hard. Because, again, our ego, you know, I want to, like I told you before, as it they're like, what I wanted to be a therapist, it was purely ego driven, I'm like, I want to help save the world. And, you know, I'm realizing more every day that I can't. And so there's that internal letting go, right, as far as like boundaries, in general, I'm in the online space. And so it's never ending. And there's a lot of, I won't say guilt, but FOMO worrying about if you're not posting enough or not engaging enough, blah, blah, blah, things aren't going to work, etc. The only way that I've been able to navigate that is through spiritual practice, like even you know, these little hacks like turning your notifications off, and, you know, setting hours to work and all that those those are those work, right, but that doesn't change that doesn't stop your mind or your anxiety. Like it physically prevents you from doing something. But it's like locking the chocolate up in the pantry with the key. It's harder to get to, but you're still suffering within it. And you know, so suffering, the only way that I've been able to navigate that is spiritual practice, period. I'm I know, when I'm off, like I'm not meditating, and I'm not getting quiet, and I'm not going outside, outside is very big for me and tuning in. That's the only way I've been able to navigate it imperfectly.
Shay 39:36
Yeah, that makes sense. Because you can have all these tips and tricks, but at the end of the day, you're still stuck with your head and your heart.
Heather Parady 39:44
A hundred percent.
Shay 39:45
I've wondered why okay, everybody knows all of these tips and tricks, you know, like, save screen time, you know, get off social media, people know, but I've never heard it like that where it's like you still have your head and your heart..
Heather Parady 40:00
Yeah.
Shay 40:01
With you.
Heather Parady 40:01
The issue isn't this.
Shay 40:03
Right.
Heather Parady 40:03
You know what I mean, the issue isn't any of these tools or whatever, it's connection and belonging with ourselves. You know what I mean? And so nobody wants to hear that. But that's, that literally honestly. Sucks.
Shay 40:19
Right? Because it's not an on off switch. It's it's a it's a practice.
Heather Parady 40:25
Yeah.
Shay 40:25
So thank you for sharing that. Couple more questions. What are some ways or maybe just one way that you are leveling up, these days?
Heather Parady 40:35
I am I being intentional with speaking up more and standing up for myself in situations that I feel intimidated in. I'm a very strong woman, however, I have noticed a trend with me that I am not clear and direct. As much as I should be around people. I'm intimidated around and don't stand my ground. Someone told me the other day, they said you don't recognize the power you have and the voice that you have. And I know that I do up here but me actually practicing and using it. You posted I think on your stories like a podcast about something like that. I've just like, I've been you know, conditioned. I wrote this down. I'm gonna share this with you and this is very embarrassing, but I don't care.
Shay 41:23
Yes, give it to me.
Heather Parady 41:24
I mean, I've been wanting to write more. But I feel really insecure about writing for another reasons. It's another podcast. Here we go. I want to be bold when I speak. But I don't want to be a jerk. I wonder who first taught me that my strength would make you hurt. That's where I am leveling up right now is realizing that my boldness that me speaking up for myself and me holding my ground doesn't hurt people in and of itself. My strength does not make you hurt. Right. And I shy away from it because I deep down for some reason. Somebody must have told me that.
Shay 41:57
Yeah, because you don't want to hurt other people. And that was something that you wrote there was like a short little thing that Do more girl!
Heather Parady 42:06
Okay.
Shay 42:06
Yeah, like that!
Heather Parady 42:08
That's enough, you're my friend.
Shay 42:10
I have one more question. But before we get into that, where can we find you online? And how can we support you?
Heather Parady 42:17
Find me online at Heather Parady, Instagram is really where I've been at most stays slightly, which is odd. How you can support me I would like you to leave Shay a review of her podcast and say every truth within you about what this show has done for you or means for you. And be very specific. So leave five stars and write one or two lines. That's the truth that sits in the bottom of your heart. I heard that the other day. What is the truth about this show? So shaken read that that's how you can support me?
Shay 42:52
Wow. Well, thank you.
Heather Parady 42:55
I mean it or I'll come find the listener. I will come find you in touch you. Okay. Sorry. Got aggressive there.
Shay 43:02
She she will she will. Well, thank you for that. And yes, go follow her please. Okay, so last question. What advice would you give to someone who is creative? And what I had down was like, maybe they're worried about how long it will take but really, I think I want people to know what to do in the trenches. Day to day like what advice would you give somebody who it's every day?
Heather Parady 43:30
Yep, I got it. I got it. I want I want you to start...
Shay 43:35
(laughs)...about to sing?
Heather Parady 43:39
Can you hear me testing? I need you to do a little thing like this. Okay, she's she's bouncing a little bit a little rhythm. I'm gonna sing. Hold on loosely. Don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control. First of all, you're welcome. Second of all, that's my advice. This is a 1980s song for you young uns who are listening your girls in her 30s. So this was a jam back when I was a kid. But listen to the lines that song hold on loosely. Don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control. I love that. Because as creatives we cling so tightly to our ideas and our projects and our videos and our songs and our work and the way we appear and etc, etc, etc. In creativity is a fluid feminine energy that's here to teach us fluidity and to teach us to let go and to teach us to be vessels. And the only way that we can honor it is I'm not saying don't take it seriously. I told you about being faithful earlier but also it's a wild woman and it doesn't want to be tamed. So we've got to hold on loosely and not let go to that stuff. Okay, okay. Oh,
Shay 44:54
Wow, woman. Oh, I'm so glad that you sang a little song.
Heather Parady 45:00
I know I've read the poetry, I sang, what a day.
Shay 45:04
This is such an unconventional podcast and no wonder because we have Heather Parady. Heather, thank you so much for your wisdom and knowledge and just being here for your time. Thank you to everybody who listened today if you have any wisdom or nuggets that you pulled from whatever Heather had to say today I know you have multiple. Write an essay about it, but go tag us share this episode. Go tag us on Instagram and yeah, show her some love please.
Heather Parady 45:34
Thanks, y'all.
Shay 45:34
Bye bye. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode with Heather Parady. If anything that Heather said today resonated with you please share this episode on Instagram and tag me @levelupwithshay and tag Heather @heatherparady. All of her social media links are in the show notes and more. So check those out to connect with her over there. Subscribe to Level Up! With Shay wherever you get your podcasts. Again, thank you so much for being here. It's time to level up.
