Playing the Long Game with Rory Gardiner
“the thing that I thought was a complete failure to begin with was actually one of the greatest opportunities that I ever had.”
In this week’s episode, I’m so excited to introduce you to Rory Gardiner, a comedian, musician, singer-songwriter, and content creator. He is a 2018 Country Music Awards Nominated artist, has appeared on multiple CMT nationally broadcasted reality shows, shared the stage with a number of great country acts like Keith Urban, and has music featured in commercials, one including stars Kevin Nealon, Chris Bosh and Arnold Palmer. He has fused his music background with stand up comedy and has made a number of television appearances for brands like Under Armor, or shows like The Handmaid's Tale. He has over 50 Million views on TikTok, his comedy sketches have been featured on Funny or Die, America's Funniest Videos, and you can catch his hilarious 2019 TEDx Talk, on using humor as a coping mechanism.
In this episode we talk about how he thought one experience was once a failure but turned out to be one of the biggest successes he’s had, how to change your mindset around the day job, and how he started focusing on the long game through authenticity instead of chasing the short game and what’s popular.
Please share this episode on Instagram and tag me @levelupwithshay and Rory @rorygardinermusic.
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Rory Gardiner’s Links
Website: https://rorygardiner.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rorygardinermusic/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rorygardinermusic?
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rorygardinermusic
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rorygardiner
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rorygardiner
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Timestamps
1:57 - Rory is a young snowbird
3:33 - How Rory got into music and tech
7:19 - What feels like your biggest failure, can actually be your greatest opportunity
11:48 - How to become comfortable performing on stage
12:55 - Surround yourself with people you trust
14:12 - Supporting yourself while chasing your dreams
17:30: Change your mindset around your day job
19:00 - Creativity is spawned by adversity
23:51 - Practice your craft in public and in private
25:56 - Finding funny when disaster strikes
33:09 - Health, great relationships, and a good reason to get up in the morning
35:50 - Playing the long game
36:33 - Level up by putting yourself in new environments
42:50 - Change your mindset to change your life
Transcription
Shay 0:00
Hello and welcome to Level Up! With Shay. I am so excited to introduce you to today's guest, Rory Gardiner. Rory is a 2018 Country Music Awards nominated artist. He's appeared on multiple CMT nationally broadcasted reality shows, shared the stage with a number of great country acts, like Keith Urban, and has music featured in commercials. One including stars Kevin Nealon, Chris Bosh, and Arnold Palmer. He has fused his music background with stand-up comedy and has made a number of television appearances for brands like Under Armor or shows like The Handmaid's Tale. He has over 50 million views on TikTok. His comedy sketches have been featured on Funny or Die, America's Funniest Videos, and you can watch his hilarious 2019 TEDx Talk on using humor as a coping mechanism. In this episode, we talk about one experience he had that he thought was a complete failure. But it actually turned out to be one of the biggest successes he's had. We talk about how to change your mindset around the "day job". You know how that is. And we talked about how he started focusing on the long game through authenticity, instead of chasing the short game and what's popular. I really, really enjoyed talking with Rory on this episode, and I hope you do too. Please welcome to Level Up! With Shay, Rory Gardiner. Hello, everyone and welcome to Level Up! With Shay. I'm super excited about today's guest, freaking talented in so many different ways in music and comedy. And I'm excited to learn more about him today. Rory Gardner.
Rory Gardiner 1:45
Hello.
Shay 1:46
Hello.
Rory Gardiner 1:47
And welcome to this conversation.
Shay 1:48
Yes, coming to us from Canada today. Doing some comedy in Canada, but you travel all over the place, right?
Rory Gardiner 1:57
I was lucky enough to spend the winter in, Florida was my hub. But then I would fly into the warm places, like the Caribbean, to do to ship gigs and stuff like that. I'm just basically trying to be a snowbird at this age and it's working so far.
Shay 2:18
You're trying to be a snowboard.
Rory Gardiner 2:20
Snowbird. So, snowbird for Canadians is when you spend the winters in warm climates, right. And that's usually reserved for 70-year-olds. But I'm trying to hack the system and do it now. So, I just try to get as many gigs as I can below the equator or whatever.
Shay 2:37
Yeah, that's smart. I saw you made a ton of videos flashing back from Canada cold weather to warm weather on the ships and stuff and that was very funny. I'm sure that took some thought and planning because you're like, "Okay, I have to get this cold weather footage when I'm in cold weather and then the warm weather."
Rory Gardiner 2:57
Yeah, it's like a week in the making, right, and I have to splice this somehow together.
Shay 3:01
Yeah, well, cool. I want to start like I do with most of my guests in your childhood, because I know you were a musician, a full-time musician at a pretty young age, and just very talented in that way. So, when you were a kid, were you musically inclined? Was that something that you started playing an instrument or guitar when you were very young?
Rory Gardiner 3:33
No, not at all. My whole family was into music. My dad was in a bluegrass band. He played guitar. My sister had piano lessons. My mom plays piano, they're just pressuring me to like, "You got to learn an instrument, you're not a part of this family unless you learn an instrument." So, I picked up the drums because in grade six my teacher brought his drum set into school and he let us play it and I'm like, "Well, I'm going to do this." So, I played the drums and then you realize really quickly that it's really boring when no one else is there to play with you. You're just keeping a beat, you need something melodic. So, then I was like, 16, I got into guitar and I'm like, "Cool. This is my new thing now and it's gonna appease my family." Finally, I get into an instrument, right? That doesn't make a lot of racket. I'm thinking, "Hey, I'm a pretty good guitar player. This is working out well." And then you get to see other people in your high school, for example, play guitar. And there's this one guy in particular, I remember I was in grade 12 or something. Battle of the Bands, right? And there's all these crappy school bands. You know what I'm talking about. They probably had them at your school as well. And everyone was the worst except for this one guitar player who I swear to God, like, "Who is this person? Why is he 12-years-old and still amazing?" And, so, it turns out, 10 years later, he became Justin Bieber's guitar player.
Shay 4:55
Oh, wow.
Rory Gardiner 4:56
Yeah. So, he's toured the world with him. He's been on every award show and Tonight Show and the whole thing and it was great. We were rubbing elbows with people talenteder than me. (laughs)
Shay 5:12
Okay, so, he was in your high school, or he just competed?
Rory Gardiner 5:17
He was in my high school, just a regular dude and we went to the same gym. The whole thing. He's just a fabulous guitar player. He became that thing.
Shay 5:28
Did you practice with him? Did he inspire you to practice more, push you to practice more?
Rory Gardiner 5:34
We talked at one point. This is a brief conversation. We were thinking about starting a band because I was a singer, right, I wasn't just a guitar player. And we were chatting, and I was like, "Yeah, I'm a singer. I also play guitar." And it kind of turned him off. I think he wanted to be the only guitar player in the band and so that ended that relationship.
Shay 5:56
Oh, wow. Okay. So, during high school, you played guitar, you started at 16, and what did you do after high school? Did you go to college?
Rory Gardiner 6:08
Yeah, I wanted to be a rock star. But I also didn't want to get a beating from my mother. So I went to college, and at that time, this is the early 2000s. So, there was a big tech boom happening and everyone was going to school, getting a technology degree and then coming out instant bazillionaires because of the boom. Then I graduated, and the tech bubble burst. And then I did tech support for a couple years because my timing is impeccable.
Shay 6:36
Wow. So, yeah, you just helped everybody who needed help from that tech bubble burst in the tech world. So, you studied tech in college?
Rory Gardiner 6:48
Yeah, I studied tech in college and then I would moonlight as a musician on the side. So, I would just play at bars at night and stuff like that. I was in an original band that sounded like, everyone wanted to sound like creed at the time, that was that era, and every band did sound like that. Anyway, so, rock alternative, right? Then somewhere in that thing I got bit with the country music bug. I listened to a Garth Brooks album. I'm like, "This is way better than creed."
Shay 7:18
(laughs)
Rory Gardiner 7:19
I felt like I could be a faster metabolism Garth Brooks and slash jumped into the country music world. And this is like before country was cool. I was the only person doing it and I was already kind of a dork. So, I'm like, "Let's lean into that and do this country music thing." And went to Nashville, recorded an album. And I used all the greatest session players imaginable. I used a Blake Shelton's fiddle player, and Shania Twain's drummer, and Tim McGraw's autotuner. And it was a great. I thought this was gonna be the best album ever. So, I came up, and I released it to radio in Canada. And radio said, "This is not good." I mean, it was good, but they just didn't play it. So, that's the impression I got. It just wasn't right for radio. So, then I just put that thing on the shelf, and just continued to play cover gigs and write other stuff or do other things. And then I get this call from this ad company from New York. They're like, "Hey, we heard your song on YouTube, from this album. It's called break free, we'd love to use that as our ad campaign for this pharmaceutical product." I'm like, "What? Sure, why the heck not." Music licensing wasn't even a thing back then. So, yeah, they used that. It was in a commercial with Kevin Nealon and Arnold Palmer, Chris Bosh, an NBA player, and it played for several years. It paid for the next three or four albums I did. One of the co-writers, I bought an engagement ring for his fiancee, down payment on a house, it was just like, holy smokes. So, the thing that I thought was a complete failure to begin with was actually one of the greatest opportunities that I ever had. So, I had that mindset at the time. It's not necessarily the wrong thing as much as it's not the right fit for this particular avenue.
Shay 9:17
Yeah. How did you feel after they told you "No"? Were you in a depressive state? I'm just curious, basically, how long did it take you to bounce back? Or do you feel like there really wasn't, you just continued to play?
Rory Gardiner 9:36
It took me five years, probably, to bounce back because at the time I was in my 20s. And when you hear "no", it's like, "Alright, well, I suck so why even bother continuing?" And then an opportunity like that licensing thing happened and that makes you think, "Alright, well, it never would have happened had I not decided to create the album to begin with." Then going back even further. I didn't want to be a tech person in school, right? So, who the hell wants to be a tech person? Again, my mom forced me into college. And I had to pay for that first album out of my own pocket, which I wouldn't be able to afford to do so had I not gone to college, had my mom not made me. So, all these little steppingstones lead to that licensing deal. So, now that I had that win, from then on forward, I just create content because I know that, "Okay, it may not work in this scenario, but it may work somewhere else." And I just continue to do that. The most sure way to never succeed at anything is to not create at all.
Shay 10:42
Yeah, and I want to go back a little bit to becoming a great guitar player and a great performer and a great singer. I mean, you come from a family of performers. So, were you never nervous getting up in front of people and performing? Because now, I've seen you in person, seen your videos, you're just very comfortable on stage. Did that just take a lot of practice, just a lot of reps, to get comfortable on stage or do you feel like that was kind of natural for you?
Rory Gardiner 11:16
No, I'm still not a good singer or guitar player. But that natural comfortability, comfortableness, is that the word?
Shay 11:28
Comfortability.
Rory Gardiner 11:30
Yeah, that's it. Okay, I don't speak English, apparently. Comfortability. No, I swear to God it's comfortableness. That's the word.
Shay 11:39
Yeah, don't quote me on that. I don't know.
Rory Gardiner 11:42
Can you hold on while I get a dictionary?
Shay 11:47
Yeah, go ahead.
Rory Gardiner 11:48
So, after I big fail with that album. I mean, I just went back into the clubs and just did several days a week of covers. You're gonna have to be in front of an audience just every night and your whole goal is to sing these tunes just to get a dance floor going. And you just learn how to optimize what you do to make the audience, you can control them. And it comes with practice. So, once I entered the comedy thing, I had that skill set. Although it was a completely different skill set, I still have the instincts. So, when you see me comfortable on stage today, it's probably from that 10,000 hours of doing that back in the day.
Shay 12:34
Yeah, and that's so interesting, because people, especially when you're doing cover songs and trying to get a dance floor going, you really need to be focused on the audience. It's not the audience needs to be focused on you or anything. It's like, "Oh, I need to bring out the best that I can to please the audience,", basically.
Rory Gardiner 12:55
It's also surrounding yourself with people that you trust. And I remember when I was doing original music back in those 2004 Creed-sounding days, and I was playing with musicians who I felt would screw up from time to time. And it was unreliable. So, me as the front man, I was always, in the back of my mind, like, "Oh, my god, is this gonna go off the rails. Everyone's going to look at me because even if a bass player hits the wrong note, for some reason, it's the singer's fault, it's just because I'm the guy projecting out." Anyway, it was a tense situation. But then I got into these other bands. When I started hiring session musicians, for example, IT professionals, and I knew they were going to be 10 times better than me. And, so, I was the weakest link in the band. Now I could just relax and really lean into what it is I do, because I didn't have to worry about anyone else's role. So, surrounding myself with people better than me was actually the deal. Another key to putting on a better show, because now I wasn't worried about the quality.
Shay 13:59
Yeah, totally. So, basically, the bar gigs, that was your full-time job, after your tech support job, then you moved into the cover band gigs.
Rory Gardiner 14:12
Well, there's a story behind that. So, eventually, the tech industry would recover, and they got into software consulting for government clients and stuff like that. So, it was better than tech support, I guess. And, as a consultant, I can create my own hours and I can do it remotely, and I can have a lot of flexibility. So, I would play cover gigs at night and then I would just consult during the day. Or, if I was on the road somewhere, I would be able to log in with a laptop, do the consulting, and then play the gigs at night. And I liked that balance because, again, I have my own podcast called The Balanced Artist. And what I'm trying to teach these people is that, your audience may feel the same way, if your goal is to be a full-time artist, you just want that on your resume, I don't need a day job. But that same person is also asking you for a ride somewhere because they can't afford a car. Right? So, if you slap yourself with that label of full-time artists, I mean, tonight, for example, I'm working for like, a half an hour. And then that's it, but I have 23 other hours left in the day, what am I going to do with that. So, when I was in the songwriting days, I would be writing, and I'd see this other song that was really popping on the radio. Like, "I can bring a song like that," because I think that's gonna be lucrative, that's what's popular, that's what I'm going to write to. But it wasn't really the style of writing that was authentically me. So, I started writing for, again, trying to conform to something that wasn't necessarily me. So, if you have your own income on the side, you can kind of create authentically, instead of trying to completely monetize your art rate at the get go. So, at that point, when I was being able to balance the day income with the songwriting is when I just decided, "Alright, now I can fund my own project." I created this entire album called Be You, right? It's that kind of authentic album of songs that I wanted to hear that hopefully other people will resonate with. And that was the first time that I was nominated for a Country Music Award because it was just the authenticity kind of came through on the pages, I guess.
Shay 16:30
Yeah, I love that, not trying to rush to be a full-time artist, because then we can put so much pressure on our creativity. And we can be like, "Oh, well, what is going to make this popular?" Instead of what we actually want to write.
Rory Gardiner 16:48
Exactly. So, those cover gigs at night, at one point in time, were my bread and butter and I would do it six days a week. And then you're so exhausted from being up until 2:00am every night. And then the last thing you want to do is wake up the next morning and write a song, right? So, when I switched to doing the day job during the day, and then just doing the cover gigs on the weekends, I just had a lot more energy and a lot more inspiration to be able to write because I had a better balance. And that was the key that works for me, at least, everyone's different.
Shay 17:22
Yeah. Did you have specific goals during that time? Was your goal to fund an album and write an album and package that?
Rory Gardiner 17:30
Exactly. So, you're basically using your day job. Again, everyone's like, "Oh, my God, the day jobs just dragging me down." If you just change your mindset around the day job like now it's your sponsor, it's funding your creative career. Alright, so, I've got seven plus albums now. And most of them were funded from the day job or residuals from the other albums that were paid for by the day job. And, so, artists that are living paycheck to paycheck based on the gigs they do, they are reliant on other people to make their dreams come true, like a record label or an actual sponsor to do that. But you can kind of create your own luck, if you have your own funds.
Shay 18:15
Yeah, I really like that. Yeah, changing the mindset around that. It takes a while. It takes a while because I would feel that way about my nine-to-five job when I had that. But now, I've built skills. Now I've taken time, especially over the pandemic, and have been able to build specific skills to where I can freelance and now I have my own clients. So, it does take a little while to build those skills. Did the tech job, consulting job, did you feel like that helped you in other ways just besides monetarily?
Rory Gardiner 19:00
Yeah, because I feel like creativity is spawned by adversity. If everything is going really well, let's just say you live in a resort and every day is catered to just give whatever the fantasy is, there's not a lot of inspiration to do anything. But, for some reason, most of the songs you hear on the radio are love songs from heartbreak, or whatever the case, it's from adversity. So, I would find that when I had all the time in the world to write songs, I just wouldn't, because why would I? But then I got to a point where I was like, "Let's just get another contract. I'm really just spinning my wheels here." So, I would get into the contract and day one I'd be sitting in this cubicle, and I'd write three or four songs because I'm like, "Oh my god, I gotta write my way out of here."
Shay 19:50
Yeah.
Rory Gardiner 19:51
So, I did create adversity in my own life just to be inspired. Same thing happened with my comedy, but I can get to that after. I was writing jokes and just stuff that would make the audience laugh, which I guess, is the whole point of stand-up comedy. But jokey jokes, right? But then my house got hit with this tornado three years ago. And I had to write jokes about real things like near death experiences and what my family went through. And that is when my comedy career kind of took a turn for the better because people actually connected more. It's the difference between being a cover band and an original songwriter, right?
Shay 20:36
Yeah, and that's so interesting. And I do want to ask you, because you were a full-time musician. And then moving into comedy, maybe comedy wasn't your first choice, right? You wanted to be, at first, a rock star, and things change and we're on a certain path. So, was there ever a time where you were like, "Okay, this path that I thought that I wanted to be a rock star isn't fitting me anymore. Doesn't seem like it's going to work or whatever. And, so, I'm going to kind of shift to comedy."
Rory Gardiner 21:17
Yeah.
Shay 21:17
How did that go? How did you feel about that? Because I feel like sometimes people are upset because they think they didn't accomplish their dreams, or they have to pivot and they didn't want to. So, yeah, how did that go?
Rory Gardiner 21:34
Well, I entered my 30s and the most success I had in music was through the commercials. So, it's not really the rock star dream, you envision. No one comes up to you after the show and they're like, "Oh my God, your song about hamburgers really got me through some tough times." Right? So, music kind of became a job. And I'd be doing these shows and I'd be interacting with the audience in between songs, and telling jokes, and just stories. And I was like, "This is way more fun than the actual songs." I'd be rushing through the songs just so I could talk to the audience again. Why don't you just get rid of the guitar altogether, and just talk full-time, and that's when I entered the comedy world.
Shay 22:13
Okay, so you discovered it as you went along.
Rory Gardiner 22:17
I've always been like a fan of comedy, and I'd go to the clubs. And again, I was like, I have this, I don't know what you would call it, unapologetic confidence where I feel I could do what they are doing. Even though I didn't. You're watching a comic on stage make a roomful of people laugh. It's like, "I could do that." It's not as easy as it looks. And you just confirm that your first 200 times on stage. So, I've always been a fan of comedy. I was like, "I'm gonna I'm gonna give it a try." And then I chickened out for year after year after year, I would chicken out. And then I saw this ad this sign on the walls like "comedy contests sign up here" and I'm like, "Cool. Why don't I do that?" So, now I have accountability. I have to show up because my name was on the list. And they're gonna force me to be there. And I did. I went to the show. I did not win. But I was hooked. What do you do the first time? It's like going on a roller coaster, once you don't die it's not scary anymore. So, you're able to just continue along and that was like 10 years ago.
Shay 23:21
Yeah, that's super interesting. I just interviewed a stand-up comedian a while ago. And he's like, "It's the matrix. It's the blue pill, where you take it and you're hooked." That's how stand-up comedians feel. So, you didn't necessarily feel that with music? You felt that more with comedy?
Rory Gardiner 23:40
Which?
Shay 23:40
Of being hooked. Of just going up on stage, doing it and you're like, "Okay, I'm not the best at this. But I want to keep practicing this."
Rory Gardiner 23:51
Yeah, no, I did. I mean, at that time, I had been doing music already for like 15 years. So, it's not like I tried it and then just gave up. I ran a long course with music and although I had this unapologetic confidence, it's not as if I showcase this to my world, let's put it that way. So, anything I try, even today, I will practice in public, but I will also practice in public in private. So, a good example would be when I first started comedy, I would go an hour and a half out of town to do these open mics because I didn't want anyone in my hometown to see me develop the skill set. So, once I got confident enough to be like, "I'm getting laughs This material is working." Then I could start doing it in my hometown and that's just me, that's just inside my own head. It's your personal social network that is creating all this trauma in your head, right. Strangers don't care. They're just there to have a good time but if you think your network at home or whatever sees you fail, they don't want to see you struggle. So, I finally got competent enough to do it in front of my people. And the same thing happened with TikTok when that thing came out. I was doing it on the platform alone. I didn't know anyone else on TikTok. So, I was just being an idiot on this new app. And I could just be free to do anything I wanted, because I didn't know anyone else on it. And then once it started to blow up, like, "Oh, my God, people actually like what I'm doing." Then I started sharing it on my other social platforms that I knew people on. So, again, practicing in public, but also in private.
Shay 25:36
Yeah, that's true. I have a lot of peers around here who go to the same mics. And, yes, sometimes it can be scary to do it in front of them, but not necessarily in front of strangers. Yeah, it's funny too because just because you're on stage doesn't mean you're like completely comfortable with the content. You're comfortable with music, but then it's another side that you have to get comfortable with comedy. So, that's very interesting. So, your house got blown away, kind of, destroyed in a tornado three years ago. You made a video out of that, really helped the community, kind of laugh about it, and heal. And then you had a TED Talk, talking about using humor, with tragedy, turning tragedy in humor. And you actually said that you had been trained to think that way. So, do you feel like your family trained you to think that way? You kind of grew up that way? Or who taught you to turn tragedy or hard moments into humor?
Rory Gardiner 26:46
There's so much packed in there. So, to begin with, yeah, the skills did not transfer from music to comedy. The first part of comedy, I'd still use the guitar. I would. It's just my comfort zone. And I use half the guitar, sometimes half not. People would tell me, "You're funny with both. But, for some reason, when you pick up the guitar, your body language changes, and you just become instant comfortability." So, I just leaned into that for a little while. And then it's when the tornado happened, that's when I started, to put the guitar away and everyone was like, "Why don't you try to become a real comic?" So, it came out of nowhere. Tornadoes don't come to my hometown. I think the last tornado was like 1932, or something like that. So, we get this warning on our phone. It's like, "Oh, there's a tornado coming." And I'm ignoring it because why the hell wouldn't I. So, I'm in the living room with the kids, my neighbor's pool lands in the yard, which is a pretty good indication that I should put on some pants. So, then I grabbed my favorite kid, we head to the basement.
Shay 27:44
(laughs)
Rory Gardiner 27:44
And roof flies off, kids' swing set disappears. But they don't care, because now they have a new pool. The next day after we discovered there was no fatal injuries or anything like that. It was just property damage. Because we lived in a wooded area, it was disposing of the trees that hit the house instead of houses blowing away. So, we were out of the house for about a year while they rebuilt it. But once we discovered there was no injuries, I just wanted to put a smile on the neighbor's face. They were going through a rough time as they would and so I just created this cribs parody video. I go around the house, and I would, "here's my new tree house," because there's a tree in my bathroom, right? Or there's a tree on top of the truck and I'm like, "Well, it's no longer an SUV. It's a compact." So, that got shared around, the people of TED Talk saw, they're like, "We'd love for you to come speak at our conference on resilience, like using humor to overcome adversity." And I'm like, "That sounds like a lot of fun." So, I did that and it gets shared around. PTSD conferences and therapists use it to treat their trauma patients by using something they call sublimation, which is replacing a negative situation with a positive. So, through this entire process I discovered humor therapy is actually practiced in healthcare. Laughter stimulates the immune system, reducing the effects of the stress hormone. So, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm pretty much a doctor.
Shay 29:08
Who can't say comfortability.
Rory Gardiner 29:12
(laughs) It wasn't in the course. Comfortableness.
Shay 29:16
(laughs) Exactly.
Rory Gardiner 29:20
Yes. Did that answer your question? That was kind of a roundabout way.
Shay 29:25
Oh, well, you even mentioned in your TED Talk that before then, before you faced this life or death situation, you kind of took life for granted.
Rory Gardiner 29:39
Yeah, you had mentioned how I was conditioned to create that video. Again, practicing in private on purpose or whatever the hell they said earlier, it's every week. I thought at that time, "Maybe I could leverage YouTube to be a YouTube star?" So, every week I would create a new sketch or a new YouTube video. I'd just stand in front of the camera and try to make whoever was on the other end of that lens laugh and I would do that week after week after week. So, when this tornado hit, instead of panicking for some reason, it just happened to be a Monday that's the day I recorded videos, I picked up a camera and just used the situation as content. So, that's what I was conditioned to do. There's this one guy in the neighborhood after the tornado happened, he ran up the street in full camo like he's gonna go hunt the tornado. That's what he's conditioned to do, that kind of heroism, right. I don't have that heroism, I would challenge the Terminator to a dance battle at best. So, my conditioning and my heroism comes from a comedic standpoint.
Shay 30:44
Yeah, and do you feel like you had that in your childhood? Did your parents do that? Turn tragedy into humor.
Rory Gardiner 30:52
No, not at all. I mean, maybe. I don't think it was hereditary as much as it is growing up just trying to use humor as a defense mechanism.
Shay 31:02
Yep.
Rory Gardiner 31:03
I would say the humor would mask my vulnerability. I was obviously going through a rough time, my kids were going through a rough time, because my oldest was six at the time. And you can't tell a six-year-old the tornadoes don't happen every day, they happened for 15% of his life at that point. So, yeah, we got him a therapist, because he had PTSD. And I got over it pretty quickly. It was covered by insurance, which is great, because he's a child that will cost you $200 an hour. So, what I was doing was I was trying to feed him questions to work some of my own stuff out through his benefits. Therapist calls me up and he's like, "Yeah, he's having a hard time at work."
Shay 31:44
(laughs) Yeah. That's great. I think I've just recently, over the past couple years, actually turned tragedy or trauma into humor. And I think it's because you kind of have to heal from the trauma in order to turn it into humor, because yes, I would also use humor as a defense mechanism. But I don't think I really came from the mindset of, "I'm going to do comedy, because this stuff is hard, and I want to make light of it." That just wasn't my perspective as a comedian. And I guess you can have different perspectives.
Rory Gardiner 32:22
Yeah, I mean, I was able to put a positive spin on this tornado situation maybe because there was no injuries, it would have been in poor taste otherwise. But not every situation is a laughing matter. I remember when I did the TED Talk, my theme was adversity, right. But the person in front of me, who spoke before me was also on adversity, and they were talking about, they had been molested. I don't know how to put a positive spin on that. I'm not that talented of a comedian. I remember it was only last year I was at an open mic. And there was this woman who had never done comedy before. But she was terminal. She had stage three or four or whatever the stage is. And so, she practiced these jokes. And she was creating nothing I've ever heard before. One of the jokes was like, "The good thing about being terminal is that I have an excuse for ghosting guys now." Her whole 10 minutes was like all this stuff. And I'm like, "That is amazing." And only she can tell these jokes from her perspective. And so, I don't know, maybe that's her coping mechanism, I guess, her process for dealing with that. I can't imagine going through that experience. But she's got it figured out.
Shay 33:09
Yeah. I love that. And there was also one thing you said, I believe in your TED Talk, talking about three things: health, great relationships, and a good reason to get up in the morning. And I'm sure having kids has completely changed that. If I asked you, "What is a good reason you get up in the morning?" You're probably going to say your kids or at least your favorite one, right? Before your kids, what do you feel like got you up in the morning? Or even now? I just know that kids is the thing that you would say and so I want an answer besides that.
Rory Gardiner 33:28
You don't want a stock answer is what you're saying. But there is something to be said about that. Because before kids I was living to create. Let's put it that way. So, my whole life was based around my creativity or art or whatever it happened to be, my songwriting my music career, right. And then as you get older and more mature and have a different perspective, now I create the art around my lifestyle. And I'm much happier because of it. I don't get stressed out anymore. We mentioned at the beginning of the call, I don't know if we recorded that part yet or not, but this last winter I toured these beautiful, exotic places coming from Canada because that's the way I like to spend my winters. I don't want to be in minus 100-degree weather. So, I brought my family down, we used Florida as our as our hub and my kids were just doing online learning and it was the best winter we had ever experienced. Right? So, I'm creating a life around my art and then using art as the byproduct of my lifestyle. So, why do I get up but now, that's the reason, I suppose.
Shay 35:41
Yeah, to enjoy now more than just waking up and, "okay, I have to create today," to get to someplace.
Rory Gardiner 35:50
Yeah, I mean, and ego was a big one, right? You create to feed your ego and after 20 years of failure, you just get punched in the ego hundreds and thousands of times. And then after a while it's just like now it's just part of the journey. When you get a no it's just like, "Okay, let's pivot. Let's try a different direction." And it's just the long game now instead of getting discouraged with the short game.
Shay 36:18
Yeah, the long game. I like that. Okay, couple more questions. Questions I ask every guest. First one, what have you been doing lately to level up? A couple of things you've been doing.
Rory Gardiner 36:33
What I've been doing lately to level up. So, it's easy to get caught in the same patterns. So, I was in the cover bands for so long, right? And it's great, you're making a little bit of money, you're having a lot of fun, but that's not a way to grow. You're not going to get rich playing other people's music. So, again, I'm getting to today, but that was this is back then. Then I was like, "Alright, we got to start releasing songs, original music." So, I released the music and that's the one that got in the commercials and the whole licensing thing, right? So, today, I have like the mindset of, "Alright, I can continue doing these open mics." In the comedy world you can, you've probably met these people who just do comedy clubs. And that's their whole thing is comedy club after comedy club after comedy club. I'll be honest, I don't love weeks at a comedy club. I like it every now and then. Here's a good example. This week, I'm having a lot of fun. But if I had to do this week, after week, after week, I would probably hurt myself. So, I try to mix it up and intentionally just try to get bigger and more interesting gigs and separate myself as an artist. So, again, I got into the cruise ship thing. So, I've been I've been flying all over the place. Next week, I fly to Alaska to do a show. And just being in front of different audiences and being in different environments, levels up my creativity, because it forces me to conform to exactly that. I can't use the same stock things anymore. I have to create humor around a new narrative.
Shay 38:17
Yeah. Do you feel like comedy clubs are maybe more of a negative vibe?
Rory Gardiner 38:23
No, I mean, comedy clubs, I sort of use it as a place to develop. And then I take whatever I develop there and bring it to the theaters. When I'm doing cruise ships, there's comedy clubs and there's the theater. And I'm usually in the theater because I'm more of a variety applicant, I create a narrative around my show instead of just telling jokes. So, when I network with the other comedians, they look at it as a job, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. So, they get in there, they do their time, they go, and they try to get to the next gig, they get in there, they do their time, then they go. And they do really well on stage because they're telling the same jokes over and over again. And they can repeat that for several years. Because it's sort of a repetitive job. But every time I do mine, I'm videotaping it, I'm trying to optimize the perfect way to create this show, to create something else, so I can never just relax. I would love to just relax and sit on this particular show and narrative for a long period of time and just embrace but every time I go out, I'm trying to switch things around. It's a very interactive show. We have this big LED wall behind me and I'm always trying to do different tech and all this sort of stuff. So, I'm always trying to change it around to create something special so that I could eventually film the proof of concept and then distribute that to a network or something like that. So, if you could circle back and answer your question about leveling up, I have the big picture in mind as opposed to how am I going to pay rent with this set. You know what I mean?
Shay 40:03
Yeah.
Rory Gardiner 40:04
So, it's more of an investment mindset as opposed to a job mindset.
Shay 40:07
Yeah, I like that. I saw a couple videos on TikTok. One in particular, where it's like, "How do you deal with haters?" And then somebody was talking about your kid's car seat, and it being so dirty.
Rory Gardiner 40:19
Yeah, it's really cool. Clubs are great, because it's just you and the audience. But now I'm in this theater and so I can use this big ball behind me, this big projector screen, and really have an interactive experience. So, like when I tell my tornado jokes on stage, I can literally show them the video I created right after the tornado, it gives them a better context. And so, I've started to incorporate, at the end of the show, I'll show some of my more popular TikToks. And my demographic is mom's over 40. Right. And so, these are the cruise ship people. So, half of the audience will have already seen this video, and they already follow me on TikTok, which I didn't realize. It's a fantastic platform, because these videos get shared everywhere, right? They're like, "Oh, my God, I didn't recognize you without your cardigan." I have a lot of fun with that. And I wouldn't have had that opportunity had I not tried to level up with from the from the clubs. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with clubs. I'm just saying, if you're not putting in the effort to change your circumstance, how are you going to? You can't complain about it.
Shay 41:26
Yeah, see, that's the big thing. Can't complain about it. And it's up to preference. Some people like comedy clubs, and you like, what you're doing. So, one last question. But before that, where can people find you? What's the best platform for people to find you and support you?
Rory Gardiner 41:44
I spend most of the time on Instagram, or Facebook. So, @rorygardinermusic music on Instagram, @rorygardinermusic on Facebook. A lot of it's the same but it's where I'm most active. I loved Twitter back in the day, but the last five years I've ignored it. So, I don't know what it is. Then before the tornado it was it was YouTube. I was trying to be the YouTube guy. And I don't really post there anymore. I post my music videos there. I create the comedic music videos, the occasional sketch, but now TikTok has taken over that world. I'm on there as well. I think it's @rorygardinermusic on TikTok as well.
Shay 42:23
Cool. Well, the last question I have for you is for some advice. What advice would you give creators or artists these days who are so narrow focused on this one goal or this one plan? What are some ways that they can be more open with their creativity and not put so much pressure on it?
Rory Gardiner 42:50
Well, my first advice would be to find someone who knows more about this than I do and ask them. My second is to change your mindset, change your framing, right? If your art is your identity, then create your lifestyle around that. So, again, I lived comfortably because I've had the position to have the side income while creating the art to begin with. But no one knows that about me because my identity is entertainer or artist and that's what I project online. So, that's the Rory Gardiner that everybody knows, but no one sees behind the scenes of what it does to do that. I don't post things about my kids online, not because I don't love them because this is not who I want to project to the world. So, just choose what you want to show people and then just shield yourself with that, and then keep the rest of it to yourself. Some stuff is better to keep for yourself.
Shay 43:53
Yeah, totally. I mean, with social media nowadays, people are like, "You have to show everything, you have to be vulnerable, and you have to show people your life." So, you don't feel that way, obviously, and you kind of keep that veil up just so you can enjoy behind the scenes stuff or hat is that reason?
Rory Gardiner 44:16
So, again, in my Balanced Artist podcast, they talk about the stuff that no one else really brings up. The passive income, how do you create passive income as an artist entertainer because that is optimal. Why not have just mailbox money while you're able to now focus on your art and what it is that you do? Right. So, it's not uncommon amongst, look at Magic Johnson, anyone like that. Once you have a little jingle in your jeans, you become an entrepreneur, you just don't see that. Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man. He owns several companies. Vanilla Ice, he's a one hit wonder but he makes most of his money today in real estate flipping. But they don't show that. You are a fan because you are that of the artist. That's the perception that up-and-coming artists see. They assume they're creating all their income based on what you see but it's not necessarily the truth and I'm trying to reveal that in these conversations.
Shay 45:24
Yeah, I find that super interesting. Well, thank you so much. Everyone listening, go follow Rory, go find him on his website, and go listen to his podcast. You mentioned it earlier but I didn't know you had a podcast so I'm excited to listen to that.
Rory Gardiner 45:43
Goes back to what I just said. I'm a comedian and musician. The podcast is very niche, right? It's learning, it's not entertaining at all. It's like, "Here's how this person did it. Let's figure it out." So, it's not necessarily the brand, right? So, that's why I don't mention it a lot, that's why you've never heard of it. People find it when they when they need it.
Shay 46:13
Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Rory, for being here and sharing your wisdom and your experience and some laughter and comfortability.
Rory Gardiner 46:24
Comfortableness.
Shay 46:27
Thank you to everyone listening. This is Level Up! With Shay and we will see you next week. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. Please share it on Instagram and tag me @levelupwithshay and tag Rory @rorygardinermusic. Go follow Rory on social media and get a laugh in because he posts some really funny stuff. All of the links you need to find him are in the show notes. Subscribe to Level Up! With Shay wherever you get your podcasts. Again. thank you so much for being here. It's time to level up.
