Leaning into the Fun with Moni Oyedepo

“You have no idea how other people are admiring you”

On this week’s Level Up! With Shay, I am so excited to introduce you to Moni Oyedepo, writer, actress, and comedian. Moni is a 2021 Women Write Now fellow through Lol Studios, Kevin Hart’s studio, and the Sundance Institute where she was selected from 100’s of applicants for her comedy short, Take the Job which is now available on Peacock. Her comedy has been featured on Freeform, WhoHaHa, CollegeHumor, Funny or Die, and Voyage LA.

In this episode Moni talks about why we should do things we’re interested in, how believing in yourself starts by diving head first into the unknown, the importance of being present, why we need to be selfish with our joy, how to have more fun on our creative journey and so much more.

I hope you enjoy our conversation and if anything that Moni says resonates with you, please share this episode on Instagram and tag me @levelupwithshay and Moni @momonilessprobs.

Thank you so much for being here. It’s time to level up. 

Subscribe to Level Up! With Shay wherever you get your podcasts.

Moni’s links:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/momonilessprobs

Watch Take the Job on Peacock: https://bit.ly/takethejobpeacock

Watch Platonic the Series: https://www.youtube.com/c/PlatonicTheSeries

Resources mentioned:

The Artist’s Way: https://amzn.to/3NuwSx7

Big Magic: https://amzn.to/3sLksZw

Level Up! With Shay Links

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/levelupwithshay/

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Timestamps

4:19 - Moni and her family’s support as a first-gen Nigerian-American

7:27 - How Moni accidentally got degrees in Political Science and Journalism

14:46 - Having fun is key (and it’s exactly why Moni signed up for violin classes)

16:20 - When Moni decided to fully lean in to being a writer

18:15 - How “just doing the things” is the best way to learn

23:59 - Looking at life as a journey rather than a destination

27:28 - Leaning in to the fun

29:11 - Divorce your creativity and worth from each other

32:58 - Letting go of expectations

35:10 - If it seems fun and exciting, just do it

37:08 - 19 ‘nos’ led to the 1st ‘yes’

39:49 - Being your biggest cheerleader

44:29 - Be selfish with your joy

49:14 - Setting boundaries with your social media

53:13 - Leveling up by paying it forward and finding fun

56:16 - How to have more joy along your journey

1:00:07 - Be more connected to yourself

Transcription

Shay 0:00

(intro) Hello and welcome to Level Up! With Shay. I am a comedian, entrepreneur, and lover of personal growth here to share stories on my Level Up! journey, bring other fascinating and inspirational artists and creatives to share their story, and to help you realize your potential, take action, and fulfill your biggest dreams. I am so excited for you to hear today's guest Moni Oyedepo. Moni is an actress, writer, and comedian based in Los Angeles, California. She is a first generation Nigerian-American from Alabama with a passion for telling compelling Black stories. After wandering around just taking classes in college to get her political science and journalism degree at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, Moni stepped out into the corporate world. She found herself miserable at her job in DC and made her way to Los Angeles not knowing exactly what she was getting herself into, but eventually dove into the comedy scene and in comedy writing. In 2018, she created Platonic, a seven-episode web-series about two best friends with obvious sexual tension. In creating this story, she partnered with 20+ Black-owned businesses, creatives and artists helping elevate her community. Moni started comedy and improv and sketch-writing at the Upright Citizens Brigade. Her comedy has been featured on Freeform, WHOHAHA, College Humor, Funny or Die, and Voyage LA. She is a 2021 Women Write Now Fellow through LOL Studios, which is Kevin Hart's studio, and the Sundance Institute. With this fellowship, she was selected from hundreds of applicants for her comedy short Take The Job, which is now available on Peacock. In this episode Moni talks about why we should do things we're interested in, why we need to be selfish with our joy, how to have more fun on our creative journey, and so much more. I met Moni at UCB in LA and I remember her being so funny, so talented, and so determined. She's hilarious and she's got a contagious laugh to match. I love it. Please welcome to Level Up! With Shay: Moni Oyedepo. Hello everyone and welcome to Level Up! With Shay. I'm so excited for today's guest, a writer and actor, you know, it's been a while since I've talked to you so this is a great time to catch up, Moni Oyedepo.

Moni Oyedepo 2:33

Hi.

Shay 2:34

Hello.

Moni Oyedepo 2:35

This is fun.

Shay 2:36

Yeah, I love it. You got your mic. You are ready to go. We got situated.

Moni Oyedepo 2:41

I love it. No, I really love this mic. I hope I sound clear.

Shay 2:45

Yes.

Moni Oyedepo 2:45

And wise with the microphone. Yeah. I think it makes me sound mature.

Shay 2:50

I think so too. Got that bass.

Moni Oyedepo 2:52

Yeah.

Shay 2:53

Yeah. I love it. Well, I'm so excited because I've just seen you, you know, you're not on social media that much like we just mentioned, but every time you're on social media, it's like, "Hey, I won this thing". I should say, "I earned this thing". You know, that you earned this thing, or you got this fellowship, or you wrote this short that got put on peacock. Like, that's what I see. And so it has just inspired me because I know how much work goes on behind the scenes of someone to writers, like, writers really, really inspire me because that's you alone, in your room, in your apartment doing stuff by yourself.

Moni Oyedepo 3:39

It's a very, very lonely road. Yes.

Shay 3:41

Right. Yeah. So it's. So it's very cool. And I'm excited to get into it and how this podcast works, like, I usually start in your childhood. So you are, and people get scared for that like, childhood. But just a little bit, I just kind of want to know how your childhood has influenced who you are now and your work ethic and just who you are as a person. And I know you're first generation Nigerian-American. Right, and you're from Alabama. So how has...

Moni Oyedepo 4:13

You did your homework.

Shay 4:14

Oh, yeah, girl. Yeah, I did. I got some good ones in here.

Moni Oyedepo 4:18

(laughs)

Shay 4:19

But I really want to know, like, how has that impacted your life? Well, I don't know your your family dynamic. Like are you close with your family? Like what lessons has your family taught you coming from another country?

Moni Oyedepo 4:34

Yeah. Yeah, very, oh God how can I answer this question. It's like what was funny, like, I'll answer that one first. As soon as you said that, I was like, "What was I like as a kid?" and I just remember distinctly like begging my mom if we could move to Boston. I don't know if you've ever heard of the PBS show Zoom, but it was like we're kids. It was like basically like a variety show on PBS it was like maybe like PBS is like cheaper but cute version of like the Mickey Mouse Club. So, anyway, I really wanted to move to Boston because like, that's where they filmed Zoom and I was like, "Oh my god, Mom, I've got to be a Zoom kid", and she was like, "What?" and was like, "No, go away." And then like, I remember like, randomly, and I never liked Disney Channel like the Disney Channel stars like, trace Mickey Mouse's head and be like, "You're watching Disney Channel." And I would like love getting like a hairbrush or curling iron and like, really thought that my Mickey Mouse trace was much better than, like, you know, Hannah Montana's and Raven Simone's. I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna be the next Disney Channel star", and like, literally, that was it. But I always just, I think I just I like having fun. And that's something I really, really tried to, I think, do more of now. And I think especially after just a lot of self reflection, in the recent years, in the pandemic, I was like, you know, all these existential crisis questions of, "What am I doing? Do I still want to be creative?" and then just realizing, you know, even in the valleys of life, I still have fun in the pursuit of it all. That's what kind of keeps me going. My family has been amazing. I have two older sisters that I grew up with and, you know, I always tell people, I basically grew up with three moms, because there's like a big age gap between us or whatever. And so, you know, everyone was everyone, including me, was confused when I pivoted from corporate America to wanting to pursue comedy writing, and, you know, everyone was like, in their own way on board, even though like, even when I was a kid, I used to say, I wanted to be a senator, like, I really wanted power. I was like, "I'm gonna go to law school and be a senator." And so then for me to like, go to college, and then randomly decide, "I don't want to go to law school anymore and I don't think I'm gonna be a lawyer", that confused everyone, especially my mom. But you know, over the past few years, she's definitely gotten on board and has even, you know, hinted strongly that I write a part for her very soon to be an actor, but I'm just so blessed to have a supportive family that, you know, doesn't get it, but supports it, you know, because I don't even get it (laughs) half the time. I hope I answered your question.

Shay 7:03

Yeah. I mean, that sounds great that they were supportive, and and just close knit. I think that's important. But I do want to talk about you going to college in Political Science and Business Journalism. That's what you wanted at first was the senator role and politics and law school. So what made you pivot?

Moni Oyedepo 7:27

Yeah, it's funny, I accidentally got my poli-sci degree (laughs). I didn't realize that I was taking all the classes to get that major. So then, I think end of senior year, sophomore year was approaching and they were like, "hey, Moni, you've got to declare a major", and I was like, "I don't know why I'm here, guys, I'm just taking classes". And then the counselor was like, "well, you're, you're like a few credits shy of getting a poli-sci major, you might as well do that", and I was like, "okay". And then on the flip side, a lot of my friends were getting A's in the school of journalism. And I was like, "oh, I need some A's" and so I just kind of started taking journalism classes and I was like, "I'm almost done with this major, I guess I might as well like major in journalism and get A's to like fix". I was a very bad college student freshman year. So I was like, "the last three years, I'm definitely fixing my GPA from my first year". And so I got A's and then just honestly, being in the School of Journalism made me lean into writing more like I remember like, you know, in like high school middle school, like turning in papers and they would you know, ding it because I would probably go into my own world about the Scarlet Letter, but they're like, "you've got such clear great voice like lean into it but also fix these one on sentences", you know what I mean? And so like I went got the, went to school of journalism, and for A's but didn't realize that I was like, you know, honing in the voice that I wasn't really acknowledging from like years ignored and so it's funny that that is like what I lean on more now cuz that was not my intent in college. Like I knew I wanted to go to law school and then very quickly knew I did not want to go to law school, but then even after college, I was like, "Okay, what do I do now?" I don't really like my corporate job. I guess I'll take the LSAT now and go to law school with my friends", and just would never sit down and study for the LSAT like would avoid it like the plague and find every other excuse under the sun to not take the LSAT. And then finally, I was like, "Moni , you don't want to be a lawyer and it's okay", and then I was like, "Oh, I'll go to law school and learn how to think", I was like, "I love the way lawyers think they're so crafty and wisey and dah dah dah", and my friends were like, "Moni, you're not gonna go into six figure debt to learn how to think that's stupid." So I'm grateful for friends who like checked me and were like, "You don't want to do this, don't do it". And I thought I had to because everyone else was doing it. And you know, all of my friends were very corporate. And you know, being a creative person, honestly, didn't seem realistic. I think just from a first-generation standpoint, like having a creative job career path seems cute in theory, but just, I've never seen practicals I didn't really even entertain it. So even when I was quitting my corporate job, not really knowing what to do and knew I was moving to LA I still didn't have a plan when I came to LA. I honestly thought I was gonna go into advertising. I thought that was gonna be my pivot in LA. And so it's just very funny to see, "Oh, my life has worked out since then". I forgot the question again? Sorry. (laughs)

Shay 10:15

No, that's great. But I do want to ask, you know, you said that you're counselors like, "You have to declare a major", and you said, "Oh, I'm just taking classes." So at that point, were you not like super focused on law school, law classes, like, people have a plan, like people who go to law school, not all of them, but some of them are like, "I know, I'm going to law school. I'm taking these classes to get into law school." So did you have that plan at the beginning of college? Or did you just kind of go into college because everybody else was doing it?

Moni Oyedepo 10:48

It's funny you ask me that because in hindsight, I'm like, "Did you have a plan?" Like I, yeah, I guess in hindsight, I didn't, I think I mean, I knew I had to go to school, because that's just what you do. Right? So I had to go to college. And then when I got there, you know, I was like, "Oh, I want to be a senator. I guess the best way to do that is to be a lawyer." And so I think that's why I was like, naturally taking poli-sci classes, even though I wasn't like really intentional about it. I just just happened to be doing it and so then, but I even realized I was bored. Like, I realized I wasn't happy. I was like, "Okay, I don't know what else to do. But I don't really want to do this." But I just kind of was just doing it anyway. So it wasn't until I finished the major. I was like, "Oh, I don't know about this," and so I was like, "Okay, well, what do I do now?" and like, you know, I was like, "Okay, well, let me just go get A's to fix my transcript." And, you know, sometimes I wish I could redo college, because, you know, I wish I would, I would tell every student, "Your major doesn't really matter. I mean, for the most part, depending on what you want, like, depending what you wanna do, like, if you want to be a doctor, even if you want to be a doctor, I've been told that like, you don't necessarily need to be a bio or chem major, like, you just take the classes you need, you don't need to major in that, like, you should be taking classes that interest you." It's like, in hindsight, I really wish I took like religious studies, you know, or more women's studies, or like more African American studies and just like, learning about things that interested me versus taking classes of what I thought I was supposed to be doing. And so I thought I was supposed, I guess I was like, "You know, I guess I should take poli-sci classes because I think I want to be a lawyer", and then hating it. And then because I hated it so much was taking a different major, just to course correct and get more A's on my transcript. So I was never doing anything that interested me. And so then when it was like, "Okay, I reached the end of the conveyor belt in terms of college, and now I have this fancy corporate job", and I was like, "I guess this is the rest of my life", and then being very miserable. I was like, "I can't, I can't, I can't do this." And so I honestly thought I was being doing, you know, a copping out, like quitting my job and moving to LA and just being like, "I'll figure it out." Whereas everyone else was like, Moni, that's so brave", and I was like, "In what world is quitting my job brave?" But, yeah, no plan.

Shay 12:58

Yeah, that hits so hard, because I went into college playing basketball, and like, that was my thing is playing basketball, but I wasn't gonna go pro or, you know, I was just having a good time playing basketball. But the whole thing of, "Okay, I want to be a Senator, this is the plan. I guess I have to take law classes to be that." And we do that, we try to map out this plan of this thing that we want. But we don't focus on what we're interested in right now.

Moni Oyedepo 13:27

Yeah.

Shay 13:27

Because if you were like, "Oh, what am I interested in right now? Is it writing?", then you take a writing class, you're like, "oh, my gosh, I'm in love with this", and then the senator thing changes, you know, and that's okay. But I think it's so interesting, because we do put these things into a plan.

Moni Oyedepo 13:45

Yeah.

Shay 13:45

But don't focus on what we're interested in right now. And I really think that that is the path to like, living a fun life, doing what you're interested in. Right.

Moni Oyedepo 13:56

And that's, it's funny, because I think like, unfortunately, leading with fun, I think is looked down upon like, I mean, even as a person myself, like, "that sounds silly", like, literally just that I want, I want that in my life. And I'm like, "oh, that sounds so frivolous", right? Because I think the mindset is, "we have to hustle", "we have to grind", "we have to be amazing". And then when you add on social media, and you see that other people are, you know, hustling and grinding and winning, and I'm like, "Ah, fuck, I'm not hustling or grinding, and I'm not happy." And so it's just like, you gotta pick one and I would hate to hustle and grind and not be happy, and have fun. And, you know, I think it honestly takes discipline to like, force yourself to have fun and that's like, that's something I'm like, actively trying to learn. Like, for instance, I actually just signed up for violin classes.

Shay 14:45

What?

Moni Oyedepo 14:46

A few months ago, yeah, cuz like I always wanted to play the violin when I was a kid. I signed up for classes and I think I did it for a couple months. And I'm like, the teacher yelled at me because I think I almost broke it, whatever. And so then I was like, "Oh my God, she's so mean, I hate the violin forever." But I've always wanted to play and then later, like, I was super bored and the pandemic and I was like, "Let's just sign up for music class." And so I'm not gonna lie it's definitely collecting dust the past couple weeks. But I really want to like pick that up because it just seems fun to me. And I did learn how to play I think like Jingle Bells, so I can bust it out for you at some point in play. No no no. Not right now. Not right now, but like I just, the thought of like learning an instrument is fun for me and...

Shay 14:47

Yeah.

Moni Oyedepo 15:08

Who knows where that'll lead. But yeah, yeah, having fun is key.

Shay 15:31

Yeah, you could write a story about a violinist. Now you have the experience.

Moni Oyedepo 15:37

(laughs)

Shay 15:37

I want to ask about Platonic. So it's been, it's been a few minutes, a few years since you came out with Platonic. But you know, since you are a few years removed, I wanted to ask what was one thing that you remember from that project, where you learned a lesson that you were like, you know, "After doing that project, this is something that I want to get better at, this certain thing." Whether it's communication with somebody on the set, or with your writing, or whatever? Was there a big lesson that you learned from that? And it was a web series? Right?

Moni Oyedepo 16:14

Yeah. Seven-episode web-series came out in 2008 I think.

Shay 16:21

Okay.

Moni Oyedepo 16:20

I learned all my lessons from Platonic, like, I'm still learning lessons from Platonic years out. The best thing about Platonic though, honestly, was that that is the project that made me believe in myself that I could do this. And so for me, when I again, when I moved to LA, I didn't really have a plan. I didn't say I want to be a comedy writer, performer, it was just like, "I hate my job in DC, let's move to LA, and be with my sister and figure it out." And so then, you know, I just got lucky and so blessed. In my first six months, I got to be on the set of Blackish. And watching them film, and I was just like, "Whoa, that's so cool." And, you know, I was like, "I have a background in writing, like journalism", And I was like, "Oh, I do like TV." And, you know, I happen to be like, with one of my future best friends that same day, and she was also pursuing comedy writer, and I was like, "that's a job?" So it just, it didn't even cross my mind that was even possible. And so as I was teetering between, "okay, trying to find an advertising job", and then being like, "let's research what comedy writing is", it was just a weird, purgatory-type time for like, two years of like, "do I want to pursue this or be realistic and have a corporate job?" And finally, like, I just had a, I call it "come to Jesus moment". It was like, "Moni, either you don't pursue this and you move on with your life or you lean fully in, and you figure it out." Sou I was like, "okay, let's just lean in for like, a couple, like a year or two", like fully, like, you know, so people will say, "Hey, man, are you ready?", you have to say, "Yes." It took me like, honestly took me probably five years to call myself a writer, period, like just years, like even even after Platonic I still wouldn't call myself a writer or an actor. Or I would not because I was like, "No, I didn't earn it." I was like, "I gave that to myself. Nobody thinks I'm a writer. I did it." And so I was just I had a crippling imposter syndrome for many, many years. Even after Platonic, but anyway. Platonic is like, when I leaned in, I was like, "Okay, we're gonna make something." No, first, I was like, "You don't know what you're doing."

Shay 16:51

(laughs)

Moni Oyedepo 17:18

"You don't know what you're doing as a creative." Like, "You're at this comedy school. Everyone, you know, knew when they came to LA, they were going to be the next comedy star and be on SNL and you don't have any of those pursuits or thoughts about yourself. So should you go back to school? Like, should you get your Masters?" and I was like, "Oh, self, we got lucky getting one degree. Like, we got so blessed getting our undergrad, you really want to test the waters and go to grad school?" And finally, I was just like, you know, so many people were like, "You don't really need an MB-", like, what is it MBA, MFA? Like, what is that? "You don't really need an MFA, Moni just like, do the things." And so then finally, I was like, "Okay, well, I guess, you know, making my, funding my own project would be cheaper than going to grad school." And so I kind of, like use Platonic as like a crash course to play catch up for like, with compared to all my peers, because like, I didn't know anything. Like I learned on the side of my like, on my project, like what a shot list was, you know, like, I learned, like, oh, like, like, what a two shot is and like, and crush shooting like and oh, like you can do certain scenes and you don't have to shoot in order you can shoot out of order and like just things that I think other people have known or would know I was learning on set and it was like really fun and really cool. But it also just forced me to be intentional. "Okay, Moni, you want to write but no one's giving you opportunities. So like, let's just write your own project." "Hey, Moni, you want to be involved in this role, but you don't really know what you're doing. So just use your corporate background of quasi organization, figuring out ways to raise money, and you're just going to make something." And so I was surprised by how good it was. And I think honestly, all of us were because like, I was the I don't know, like honestly naive, captain of the ship. To be honest, I didn't really know what I was captaining, I honestly was just giving people freedom to do what they want and show showcasing their talents on this product too. And so it just helped me realize that, "okay, Moni, you're capable", you know, many highs and lows post that project too. But that was the one that really helped me to put two feet into the creative pool and literally learn how to swim on the project.

Shay 20:23

Wow, I love that. You don't think you're going to be capable until you actually do it.

Moni Oyedepo 20:29

Yeah.

Shay 20:29

Like there's not a time when you're like, "okay, today I feel capable and I'm...", you know? It's like, "Okay, I feel capable to take the next step."

Moni Oyedepo 20:39

Yeah.

Shay 20:39

That's really what you need is the next step. That's so cool. It's interesting how you're like, "I would spend money on this thing, or, you know, find out how to raise money, or go to school and be in debt for $50,000", or however much it was, you know, it's, it's interesting that we're like that it's looked down. It's like, "Oh, you're going to college $50,000 in debt? Congratulations." But it's like, "Oh, you're making your own project, and you're asking for money and you're using your...I don't know if that sound, probably shouldn't be doing that."

Moni Oyedepo 21:14

Oh, I know. And I honestly, like I was around that time America was on fire. Because you know, when is it not? But like just doing a GoFundMe or Kickstarter didn't sit right with me, because I feel like there were like other pressing things that, you know, people were asking for money for. And so I just like, literally, personally emailed every single person in my Gmail, like in that time, so whether it's like past coworkers, college classmates, truly anybody. I was like, "Hey, could you just please donate money to this PayPal account?" Of course, I'm Nigerian so people are like, "Moni, what kind of Nigerian scam are you running?" Because it was still very early in my pursuit. So people were like, "What are you even talking about? Since when did you want to be a filmmaker?" Like truly like the money that people donated to my PayPal account was the budget for my project. And I just figured it out from there. So it was honestly like a fun puzzle of "let's figure it out" that honestly, I wish today, I still had that curiosity, you know, because before like, I didn't know what I was doing so I was like, "It's just gonna be fun. We'll figure it out." But now because like, I've been doing it for a few years, there is a bit of a paralysis of like, "No, this has to be good." You know, before it was like, I didn't have expectations for myself. And I don't think people had any for me either. So it was more freeing. But I think now, even now, I'm like, trying to figure out an idea I was like, "I really want to audition for a short film, make a short film this year", and I was like, "What is it going to be?" And it's not fun and light anymore. It's like, This could be, this could define me or destroy me." And I just want to lose that pressure and just have more fun. So that I really love that season of life. And want to get back to that, because that's where the fun is.

Shay 22:51

Yeah, I love that. So I want to talk about you said in one of your interviews, it's for the Women Write Now Fellowship. You said, you know, you were just working your job at Whole Foods, like a week and a half before or something like that, passing out cream cheese or something, right?

Moni Oyedepo 23:11

Mmmhhmm.

Shay 23:11

And you're like, "I still have to write, I still have to keep working and having fun", you mentioned. And it's interesting, because, you know, you got this accolade, this fellowship that hundreds of other people wanted, but yet, when you're still in there, and you're still in the room, you're still writing like, that's all you're doing, like it's still the actual work. So kind of what, what you were saying about your next project, like, how do you stay inspired to continue with the work? You're done with that fellowship, how do you stay inspired to make the next one? And how do you get excited about the next projects? Like do you visualize them? Do you think of like, "oh, this is how I want it to look", pictured in your head? How do you get really excited and inspired about that?

Moni Oyedepo 23:59

Yeah, that's a good question. Because I'm like, "I want the answer to that, too." I'm like, "How does Moni stay inspired, right, because I haven't figured out." Okay, before the fellow before I got the fellowship, I was in a very dark place, you know, just like mentally like questioning everything, yada, yada, yada. And so then I think, honestly, just before that fellowship, I realized I was grappling like, with my own just demons and stuff, and just being like, "Hey, dude, you got to forgive yourself of you know, some of this stuff, otherwise, you're just never going to move forward." And I distinctly remember, you know, like, with any highs and lows in this town, you know, relationships form and they fall apart and it's easy to want to blame other people for stuff and so then one day I was like, "Moni, like what if you're at fault?" And then I like was journaling, I'm doodling art I have never finished the artists way. But I love with all my heart and people should do. It's like a 12 week program of like, basically forcing you to have fun and self-reflect. And one day I was like, doodling my morning pages and I was like, "Cool, self, what if I was one who was at fault with this, what would it look like, why would I be at fault?" And I was just journaling. And truly I was like, "huh", it was freeing to be like, "Yeah, dude, you take ownership for some of this." And it was like, then doing the work of like forgiving myself. And so then like, it was the weirdest like synchronicity that they'll just, I'll talk about it in artist's way where I forgave myself and I truly within like two weeks, I got the fellowship. And it was surreal. It was truly surreal. And I did feel lighter, because I didn't even like certain I was just like, a bunch of like surrendering, like, you know, what God universe like, "I don't know if this fellowships for me, but I hope it is. And if it's not, I'm trusting that something else amazing will come." And like really believing that and not just saying that. And so, you know, when I've done like a lot of like mental shifts of just being like, you know, not looking at things as like a destination, but like, you know, like, knowing this fellowship is just gonna be a fun, scenic, you know, stop on the journey of life and, you know, not wishing my life away. Like, that's what, that's what I kind of call it, like, whenever it's just like, "oh, I just want to get there", you know, essentially "getting there" means "ignoring here". And so in my eyes, it's just like, you know, waiting to get there means like, you're not savoring and appreciating right now. And I'm really believing and understanding now that once you get there, if you're not fulfilled in who you are, what you're doing, it's just going to feel hollow, you know, because it's not going to be as fulfilling as you expect it to be. And, you know, and that's for anything in life like career relationships money, like it's never going to, it's not gonna feel what you think it's gonna fill. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, so anyway, this fellowship happened very grateful. But you know, I even in my brain as it was coming and happening, I was like, "This does feel very Cinderella-y", and the experience was surreal to have like, you know, Kevin Hart's company, see my work, love it, want to produce my short film that premiered at Sundance is surreal. Like, it's I told them on day one, I was like, "Y'all, this program is fake."

Shay 26:53

(laughs)

Moni Oyedepo 26:53

"It doesn't feel real." And it didn't feel real. But you know, even in the moment, I was like, "Moni, like, this isn't going to be some life changing thing. Know that. But also appreciate this stop on your journey." So I could be focused, but also know that my goal, so it was helpful to not have these grand expectations of, "Oh my god, I'm Cinderella. And I'm like, I'm gonna, like, be in the ball forever now." It's like, "No, I was Cinderella for a moment, a season. I did have a beautiful ball. And it was great. And now it's just like, you know, back to my own quiet life in the cottage."

Shay 27:27

(laughs)

Moni Oyedepo 27:27

"Until the next ball." And so it's just like, "Yeah, it's like, you know, cool, like, what else can I be writing?" And so it's been rough to be like, "Okay, I made something cool with them. But what's another idea that I could potentially figure out and get funding?" And so again, it's like, really just trying to sit and be like, "What sounds fun to you right now?" And, you know, I thought about idea I had like, a week ago and I was like, "That's stupid." And then I was like, "No, but it could be fun." And so it's just like, leaning into the fun. And you know, when like, "What's something only you could do?", you know, because I mean, there's 85 million rom-coms, right? But it's just like, "From your lens. What like, what is that from your lens? Like, what is this journey from your lens?", and just leaning into the fun of it all has been how I try to find my stories, and also just extreme emotions. Even if I'm freaking miserable and depressed, I'm like, "Hey, what is what is this about?" And I was like, "Oh, cool, great. Let's lean into that, too."

Shay 28:17

Yeah.

Moni Oyedepo 28:18

All right. I don't know if I answered your question.

Shay 28:20

Yes, yes, you did. You and it was it was beautiful. Because it just like, came back around to you know, you talked about being okay with now. And not going to a destination. And I think that's sometimes what stops our inspiration is to like, "Oh, how can it get me to this place?" Instead of, "What am I interested in right now? How can I have fun with this right now?" And I think that thing you said about from your perspective. Yes. There are so many other types of projects like yours' out there, but not from your perspective. And I think people stop themselves from putting stuff out because like, "Well, it's so similar to this." If it's from your perspective, and it's true and authentic to you, then.

Moni Oyedepo 29:04

It can be different.

Shay 29:04

Do it. Yeah, it's it is

Moni Oyedepo 29:06

Well it reminds me of that book, and have you ever read the book, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert?

Shay 29:10

Yes.

Moni Oyedepo 29:10

But I love that book. I try to read it at the beginning of every year, because it gave me validation right after I decided not to go to grad school, and it gave me validation. And she mentioned like, you know, "You don't need to go to school to be a creative person." But also it was mainly just the section where she talks about your expectations you have with your creativity and not burdening it to fund your life. You know, and so, I would just be like, "Oh my god is just gonna be good enough to make me a staff writer, you know, now, or just gonna be good enough to like, where Oprah is gonna see it and like fund my life." And it's just like no, like, when you have these grand expectations for your creativity, it strains it and it it makes it not fun. And so like really trying to divorce, you know, my creativity and my worth from each other, and like funding my life and has been great. I mean, I've definitely lost a few years trying to put terrible expectations on my creativity. But again, it's all growth and learning. But that book is very helpful for anyone who's never read it. So that's awesome.

Shay 30:05

Yes. I love that book. Yes. So you mentioned what you were thinking, as you were going through the submission process with the fellowship, that was one of my questions of how did you feel when you submitted to the fellowship? And it's what you said, right, of, "This could be for me, this could not be for me. I'm just kind of going to kind of let it go." Can you expand on that of like, when you submitted. what did you think? Because I think we can get so tunnel vision, like we were just talking about, like, "I need this", and then, you know, manifesting or whatever, then we push it away. So was there something that you kept in mind with this particular opportunity that kind of kept you neutral? Kind of allowed you to let go of the expectations?

Moni Oyedepo 30:48

Yeah, for sure. So I honestly wasn't going to apply to it. I was not going to apply. I think it was due last fall. I got I think I did the math, but I think I got 19 nos within the calendar year of like, just submissions and writing and stuff. And I was like, pissed. And I was like, "I can't get another no, I'm just over it." And then I think a friend and my sister reminded me about it. And I was like, "Fine, I'm not doing anything else. I guess I'll apply to this." And you know, before I tried to repurpose something I already wrote like I, you know, tried to get a short film I already wrote before and like massaged it down to like the requirements of the short. And I was like, "that's fine", and then I wrote another short of like, from the perspective of my cream cheese job at Whole Foods. And I was like, "this is fine." And then I was just like, "What would it look like if I actually was like, I want this fellowship? What does it look like?" And you know, I just randomly thought had the truly random memory of my corporate days of me getting a job offer as an intern. And I was like, "That's random, self", I was like, "Why did you think of this?" And I was like, "What would be fun about this memory right now?" And then, you know, I just kept snowballing and snowballing to the first draft of Take The Job, and it was like, really fun. And I think that was the first time in a while I was having fun writing, you know, because before I just had, I was like, "I've gotta win this fellowship." And I would like, force past ideas into what the requirements were for the current one. And honestly, this woman right now, fellowship was the first one in a while, where I intentionally wrote multiple new pieces for it. And then, you know, when I gave myself options, I was like, "Oh, I like this idea most, and how can we make it better and heighten it?" And it was fun, but and so it was it was more so honestly, a writing exercise for me, of just being like, "How do we have fun writing, again, given the parameters of what they're asking of you?", versus hand fisting, something you've already written before, to make it what they want. And so that was it was a great exercise of just like letting go, but also having fun and then also just kind of marveling at how far I've come as a writer because like, even I was like, "Oh, man, this is good."

Shay 32:56

(laughs)

Moni Oyedepo 32:58

So then, like, and I finally like, you know, submitting it, I think I like submitted it, like at 11;55 on the night it was, it was due at midnight. Because you know, like my sister, even my sister when she read it, she was like, "This was great." And she was like, "Oh, you should say this and that." So it was just like, it was a fun, like family submission. They get that point. But yeah, it was just truly letting go of expectations. I truly had no thought that I was going to get it. So then when I got an email that I got an interview for it. I was like, "Okay." (laughs) And so it was weird. And then, you know, when I got another email, all just basically be like, "Hey, Moni, we want to discuss some parameters of your project with you." And I was like at my friend's birthday in Jamaica. I was like, "Okay, I didn't get it. They just rejected me. It's fine. But at least I'm in a beautiful sunset in Jamaica". And I was like, I didn't think I got it like as it was, like, raining, and the sun was like rising. And I was like, "Well, the universe blessed me with this beautiful sight, because I didn't get it." So. And then, like, I got the Zoom meeting. And I found out I got it. And it was a very surreal, beautiful moment. And then literally, within the hour, I had to drive to my friend's house to help them shoot a short film. And so it was like cool to just like, have that experience. And then immediately, like, go right into acting. And of course, not telling anybody because it's still so fresh, I didn't want to like steal focus from his short film. But it was like surreal to just have all that happening in one day. And I was like, this is like, "This is the life you wanted and that you've been working for and been manifesting for so, like, lean into it." And yeah, it was cool.

Shay 34:23

I think one of the most important parts of what you said was, you were like, "What do I want this fellowship to look like?" Right? Like that was you visualizing that was you opening up to the fact that it's a possibility.

Moni Oyedepo 34:38

Yeah.

Shay 34:38

Like that's, I think that's just like, super important because, yeah, picturing where you want to be the places that you want to be. I mean, you were in Jamaica.

Moni Oyedepo 34:49

Yeah. I was on my friend's birthday in Jamaica. Sad. Like, "I didn't get it."

Shay 34:54

Okay. I mean, yeah, you had Jamaica to make up for that. Those feelings, I guess, but Jamaica you had that set that you went to right after it like you have formed your life through? Right, the thought of possibility.

Moni Oyedepo 35:10

I appreciate you saying that, because that is true, even though it doesn't always feel like that, you know, it usually doesn't feel like that to be honest. I mean, yeah, Jamaica was very much a place of surrender. And I was like, "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't", but I was like, "Just just not freak out. But you did your best, and it's out of your hands." And so that's how I try to approach things. Now. It's like, "It may not be perfect, do your best, and let it go." Like even with platonic, I was like, "I don't know what I'm doing." And I had a massive panic attack. Like it was crippling. Like, I think my sister and I, we were like, in San Fran, very beautiful hotel was gorgeous. And I was like, heaving. Like, I can't even appreciate what we're doing where we are, because I was like, "I don't want the world to know that Platonic is done. And they can see it." And she was like, "Just hit post", like, "Just just a post on Instagram, and you'll be fine." And I was like, "No", and I think I started crying at one point. So I was like, "It's bad. I'm bad. I'm a fraud. Everyone's gonna hate it." And I hit post. And I like threw my phone across the room. I was like, "I'm done." And it felt free. I think I finally looked like three hours later. And I was like, everyone was like, so excited and so proud. And I was like, "Oh, what was I scared of? Who?" And I think that's like the, that's most of the creative journey. I think, like realizing, in hindsight, "What were you scared of?" And even if it is a failure, it's just like, but you did it. You know, so many people don't do. And so it's like, even if it's not amazing, the first go, who cares? You did it, and you're doing it, and it's the whole 10,000 hours, keep going mentality. And so it's just like, even if it's only like, "Moni, keep going, like, it's okay, like, fail." It's so even now, like I'm slowly training myself to want to try stand up. And I'm just like, "Moni, just just, it's a vine." I'm, like, been watching random YouTube videos, like, "How do you write a joke?" And I'm like, if it seems fun and exciting, just do it. Who cares? Who cares? And so, yeah, that's what I want people to do. Because that's what I'm trying to do, too.

Shay 37:08

Yeah, I started stand up about a year and a half ago. And it was very scary. And I haven't really done it, you know, regularly. But now it's possible for me to go out and have that feeling. And I thought it was so interesting. One of the things that you said, you talked about your 19 nos. And I think it's interesting that you counted them, like I love that, because it just kind of fuels the fire. I think a little bit, even though you said you were like, "I can't get another no", but you still did it. The fact that you counted the nos, also, the 19 nos, those are the nose that someone out there is afraid of getting. So they send out zero submissions, and you did it 19 times. You know, and I just think that that is just important to note here because you're gonna get those nos, may not be your 20th yes, or your 20th, on your 20th try or you get a yes, but you just have to keep trying and putting your stuff out there.

Moni Oyedepo 38:10

It's funny, my friend recently we, well we just watched I always say the movie wrong. Because everything all the time and in between what does everything?

Shay 38:18

Everything all at once?

Moni Oyedepo 38:20

Everywhere...Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, I think.

Shay 38:22

Okay.

Moni Oyedepo 38:22

Okay, anyway, please know what I'm talking about please. It's a phenomenal movie, truly I don't want to be. Anyway, he when we were trying to like talking about and dissecting it, he mentioned something called like the stopping factor. And it's some fancy thing I think he learned in school. But essentially, it was just like, you know, you basically try a bunch of different things until you can stop and like be like, "Okay, I solved the problem," or whatever. And so, you know, it helped in that conversation. But in this one in particular, like I got 19 nos in the calendar year of 2021. And to your point, it's just like, "Okay, I kept trying, no one liked my stuff." And so, you know, I would ask like, "Moni, are you just a bad writer? I think maybe a bad writer, you got 19 nos." And then some days I would be like, "Yes, Mona, you're bad writer, don't do it." And then other days, I'd be like, "No, you're actually pretty fucking good. You just probably weren't meant for this opportunity and it's like, you know, and just because you got these nos, are you realistically going to stop writing?" Because then that's just another couple like, we should have been have real conversations. So it's just like, "No, Self, I'm not going to actually." Sorry, I do. I do have genuine conversations with myself, as you can tell, like, Jim.

Shay 39:35

I think that's so important. Because a lot of the guests I've had on here, they talk to themselves that way they say, "Okay, Shay, okay." So I think that's just in and of itself an important thing to note as well is that we should talk to ourselves.

Moni Oyedepo 39:49

Yeah, be really connected and grounded and like, what you're allowing what you're not allowing and like, you know, the past year I've really been focused on choices. And then just being Like, you know, even the lack of a choice is a choice. So like really sitting with that. But just so terrified, but basically, 19 nos. Oh, yeah. So basically, my sister made me do an exercise because for years, she's been yelling at me like, "Hey, you should like track down all the things you've done over the past few years, just like all things, highs, lows, meetings, generals, whatever, like just check them for your own clarity." And I'd be like, "No, get in my face. I don't want to do that. I'm, I choose to be sad. I don't want to track anything even wins. No, thank you." And she would hope, she I think harassed me for like, off and on for about a year finally gave up finally got the fellowship last fall. And then she was like, "Do you want to track your, like the highs and lows now?" And I was like, "Okay, fine, fine. Laraine." That's my sister, if she ever listens to it. Like I'm shouting you out. There you go. And so I just sat down, I think for two or three days and just went through my calendar. I like any random deadlines I had. And then like the day that I submitted it, and then the day that I found out that I did or didn't get something, the day that I randomly had a general or the day that I met somebody really nice. You connected with somebody cool at this company. And just like, oh, I met this that people and also I mean, realize like, you've met great people over the years, and you've supported really great, you know, other talented creatives in LA with their stuff. And they've supported you with your stuff. And it was cool to just have like this four-page single spaced document of all the things that I've done over the past. I don't know how many years now. And then that's how I found out I was like, "sheesh, you know, it's like, you got a 19 nos this year. I'm glad you was like maybe it's a good I was like, I don't know, I was like you like you got grit." And that's also what you need in this journey. Like I realized early on in this. When I went to feed in I realized I only kept going because other people were encouraging me like at UCB improv school. Like I was going to stop at 101. Truly, I was like, "I did it. I did a class, I'm good. I've stayed tried. No, thank you.", my teacher was like, "You are amazing. You've got to keep going." And it wasn't until I was like, in 301, that I finally was like, "Okay, I'm getting the hang of this." Or, you know, same with sketch classes. I was like, "I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to figure it out." But people kept encouraging me. And so then at one point, I was like, "Moni, Self, like, at one point, people are gonna stop encouraging you. So does that mean, you're going to stop?" And it's like, you've got to be your biggest cheerleader like you like you like you actually have to believe in what you're doing. Because you can't keep doing things for external validation. Because at some point, it's not going to work out, or it's just going to stop or it's not going to come as quickly as you need it. And you know, yada, yada. And so I was like, "You, Moni, have got to be, learn how to be a cheerleader for yourself." And I'm still learning that the cheers, the routine, the two steps in my head of what it means to cheer myself on. But I've gotten exponentially better at it. And I think I randomly had a, I'll stop after this one point, I got a creative life coach randomly in the pandemic for a couple months. I love her. She's great. Happy to. I'm blanking on her name right now. But she's beautiful. I'll send you the stuff later, but worked with her for a few months. And she told me she was like, "You are a talented", you know, "writer", basically, I'm paraphrasing what she said. But she essentially was like, "You're an amazing, mean person to yourself." She's like, "You are just talented at it." I was like, I know, Allison. Her name's Allison. She's great. So I was like, "No, Allison. It's, I'm really good." And she was like, "But what if you were an amazing, nice person to yourself." And I was like, "That sounds cheesy. That's stupid. Like who wants to be a cheesy, nice person to themselves?" She's like, "No, but she's like, what if?" And so then we really worked on honoring two truths. And I said, like, the biggest takeaway I took from her was just like, "Okay, sure. Be a dick to yourself. Okay, so, okay, Moni, you are a very bad writer, you got 19 nos. Okay, that is true. But what's also true, is that okay, Moni, you're an amazing writer who made a web-series that people love. And were like, when are you gonna make a season two, and all this other stuff." So it's just like, you can't, you know, only have the negative on repeat without also honoring and listening to the positive you've gotten over the years. And so like, really forcing my like, rewiring my foundation to be like, "Okay, if we're going to entertain this negative thought, we have to think of the positive one too." And we have to listen to the positive one, too. And that truly has been just wildly helpful in the past year or two. Since I've been making myself do that.

Shay 44:14

Yeah. I love that. Thank you for sharing that.

Moni Oyedepo 44:17

Yeah.

Shay 44:17

That was great. I think that reminds me of I don't have the quote specifically. But it says, "Being optimistic is planning and worrying is also planning."

Moni Oyedepo 44:27

(laughs)

Shay 44:29

It's like the, you have those two choices. It's like, "You can worry but you're also planning for your future. You're also creating your future through that worry." And it's, of course, it's like, "Just stop worrying about something", like it's not easy. You really have to go inside. But yeah, I think that just goes nicely with what you were saying if there are these two choices that you have. Speaking of choices, I want to know you said I believe in one of your Instagram posts that we need to be selfish with our joy. I think it was on Juneteenth, you posted and you were like, you know, I like how you're selfish with your joy. And I want to know how you are selfish with your joy. What does that look like? How do you keep yourself joyful? And all the other voices out? Whatever that whatever that means to you?

Moni Oyedepo 45:16

Yeah, I think it's like I think I told you before we started recording, you know, social media and I don't have like the healthiest relationship. And so it's just like, again, really having conversations with myself and being honest with myself about what is and isn't useful to me. And so it's just like, you know, while you're, I'm always told from different people, like, "Social media is so important, like you need it, you need like, you have to have an audience, yada, yada, yada, yada." And I'm like, "okay", but also, I have a very unhealthy relationship with it. Because I normally bring myself I know, it makes me sad. And I can see other people getting the things that I would hope and desire for but you know, feeling like shit over here in my house on the couch. And so it's just like, "Cool, we can curtail you feeling like shit, just don't have that app on your phone." And I was like, "Okay!" And so, like, you know, just the small things, and didn't you people be like, "Oh, Moni, you're just so jealous brat." And I'm like, "Okay!" I'm gonna, and I was like and if people think that sure you're jealous. But like you, but you can choose to not have something actively making you sad. And so like, you know, when with that, like, taking something like that away, like, switch me for a wave, like over a year was crucial, because it's just like, "Let's focus on like, what's actually been making you happy now that that distractions out of the way." And so like, you know, I lean more into yoga, or I was more intentional about, like, following up on people. And you know, just, you know, I think the older I get, the more I'm appreciating just a life, and just how simple but also fleeting it is. And so like, whenever I think of someone just like sending a quick text, just like, "hey", and you know, just realizing that, like, you know, that really does make people's day, especially when they do it when I get it reciprocated. And I'm like, "whoa", like, you know, just a, you know, a random text when you haven't heard from in a while, just saying, like, "Hey, I thought about you, how are you?" Especially like when you're not in the happiest place can just change people's whole day. And so I just try to like make, be intentional about like, noticing people reaching out to people, like I think, I'll never forget, I think I was either at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, something, I don't know. And I think the person was like bagging my groceries. And he said something funny. And I was just like, "thank you", and I was like, I just like, "Thank you. And you're so beautiful." And he just stopped and looked at me. He was like, "What?" I looked at him and I was like, "Oh", and I was like, "Yeah, you're just so beautiful. Thank you for just existing and being you." And he was just like, "I don't think anyone's ever called me beautiful before." And I was like, I want to call him Ralph. I have no idea what his name was. I was like, "Ralph, like you were totally beautiful." Just like, it's always just trying to like intentionally just like, be kind I think like overly so. Just because the world can be sad. And it is sad. Sometimes it's like, we have to, like, forcefully be happy or like create happiness, because I think like, you know, as humans, our default is depression and sadness, at least for me, I don't know about other people. And so it's just like, you have to like, will joy. And for, even today, I was like, you know, in bed didn't want to get up. And then as I showered, I like made myself have a dance party, as I like, you know, brush my teeth. And I was like, "It's gonna be a good day." And then I changed my energy. And I was like, yeah, like, let's be more intentional about like, willing, and then also putting it out there too.

Shay 48:20

Yeah. Well, thank you for getting ready for this podcast that way. I think it has paid off very nicely. And I think just a quick point of improv, like, when we go into a scene, it's so easy to go negative. Like I was just having this conversation with a couple of improvisers the other night a big nerd improv conversation.

Moni Oyedepo 48:39

Hey, hey.

Shay 48:40

Yeah, but it is it's so easy to go negative that sometimes we have to be forceful, and like really intentional about putting out that kindness. I love that. And yeah, people don't have to use social media. Like, I love putting content out and I like being on there. But there are times where I'm like, I'm comparing. I need to get off this for a little bit, but also work on stuff outside of social media. Like it's okay. But yeah, thank you for sharing that. Because I think a lot of artists are like, I need to be on social media, but it's not. It's not a requirement at all.

Moni Oyedepo 49:14

We're just like, just like honor, I think like just, you know, sit with me, like, "What does this do for me?" You know, because I had one friend who was like a creative and she was like, "Oh, I hate social media in terms of like, social stuff", she's like, "but I treat my social media. Like it's business." So she's like, "I get on I post this stuff for my content or whatever. And I get off. People I care about already know what's happening in their life because we talk." So I was like, you know, "Sure I can like, you know, like, or whatever." But she's like, "But I'm not just aimlessly scrolling on social media." And so that helped, you know, shape my mentality of it as I got back on social media of just like, "Yeah, the people I care about, I know about something in their lives anyway. I don't really need to just aimlessly scrolling." Now I do aimlessly scroll from time to time, but it's like it's helped, you know, and even now because I built that habit of not being on for over a year. I can even feel when I've been on for too long. And I'm like, "Do you need to be on anymore?" I'm like, "Self, you're right." And I can, I might scroll two more times and then I'll get off. But I just like really being honest. Like, where are you are in that moment. It's okay that for me, it's okay to scroll. It's honestly, I honestly think it is healthy to have healthy jealousy, I guess is the best way to describe it. Because like that can push you to like, get up and go do but if you realize it's crippling, and like depressingly, you gotta be honest and figure out what your boundaries are.

Shay 50:32

Yeah, totally. Yeah. Thank you. I love everywhere that this has taken us today.

Moni Oyedepo 50:38

Has my rambling been useful to you.

Shay 50:41

Your rambling has an i, okay, quote, unquote, "rambling" has answered more questions than I've even asked. So, you know, you're just you're just doing it, you're in a flow. But I have a couple more questions. The first one, what have you been doing recently, intentionally to level up? Dance parties.

Moni Oyedepo 51:04

Definitely dance parties, definitely singing the Hamilton soundtrack at the top of my lungs. That definitely, I've learned that helps bring joy for me. And that helps me get out of a funk quicker. If I just belt out Satisfied, and I start rapping in the mirror. That definitely helps. But also, I think just, it's kind of like, now create, I've like figured out some creative muscles, if you will. And so it's just like, "Okay, hey, Moni, when he it's been a while, since you've like written anything like, you know, you don't want that muscle to atrophy. So you know, what's something else we can do?" But also like honoring, like, "Hey, you don't have to be a machine and writing all the time." And so she was like, cool, I finished a pilot a few months ago, and I didn't write anything. And I was okay with that. But now it's like, "Okay, you said, you know, you wanted to like maybe make a short film by end of the year, the months have passed? What are we doing?" And so she's like, "Oh, yeah, like, let's, let's start flexing that, you know, brainstorm muscle, again, to figure out what we want to do next." And then I think you know, just being in that mind flow of like, willing and processing thoughts has been great. But then also just the same time, I think being a good person that's helped people to remember me and just, you know, then think of things like for your like podcasts like you, I'm so grateful, you asked me to come on, but like, you remembered, I assume a great interaction we had. And you felt comfortable enough to ask me and I love that. And I'm happy to be here. And so it's just like, leaning it, like, was it past my words, past deposits, and past positive interactions are now like, you know, reaping a growth or a benefit. And so it's just like, cool. And so it's just like, as I'm figuring me out, other people are remembering me, and then I can remember them for other things that I might do, or am doing, or recommend them for in the future. So it's like a symbiotic, like, I think, like, give and take in terms of the creative world and journey. Honestly, it's kind of like weird if I'm a farmer, if I'm farming my creativity, it feels like, you know, I planted a lot of seeds many years ago, went through a crazy drought. And now it just honestly feels like things are harvesting. Is that is that? Is that the best way to finish a sentence with?

Shay 53:02

Yeah.

Moni Oyedepo 53:03

Are we in harvest season? Okay, yeah.

Shay 53:04

Yeah.

Moni Oyedepo 53:05

Sorry, I'll sometimes start a metaphor that have no idea where I'm going or how to finish it. But I'm like, I think this makes sense still.

Yeah, I get it.

I think I'm harvesting now and it feels great. And it feels cool to like, you know, give some of my crop to other people, and then, you know, swap the things and vice versa. So I honestly feel like that's how I'm leveling up right now is just paying it forward into other people, and people are paying it forward into me, but then also just sitting and just being like, "What's something random you would enjoy right now?" And then I think, "Okay, that's a fun idea." I mean, sometimes it's just a fun idea. And I do anything, don't do anything. But then other times, I'm like, "What about this? What about that?" And it's, it's when I do this or that. I'm like, "okay, I think this could actually be something", because if you're looking at a random fragment of an idea, and like, wanting to build on it, I think that's where the fun is. For me is building.

Shay 53:53

Yeah, totally with you and metaphors that's like me and quotes. I start off saying a quote, and I'm like, "I don't remember how this ends or who said it?" I'm pretty sure I might cut this out. If it's not right. Maya Angelou says, "People may remember the words you speak or the things you do." I'm totally butchering this.

Moni Oyedepo 54:14

I know, I know that. I know the quote, you're thinking of.

Shay 54:17

Right. "But they'll never forget how they made you feel." And I remember you being on a Mess Hall team. I remember you being at UCB. But what I will never forget is just you always being kind, and always being joyful. Like that. That's the thing that I wouldn't have anybody on this podcast who didn't make me feel that way. You know? So thank you for being you.

Moni Oyedepo 54:43

Yay!

Shay 54:44

So more people can see you. How can we find you on social media? And how can we support you?

Moni Oyedepo 54:53

Okay, first of all, I want to say that you were very close. The quote was, "People forget. People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." You You were like 85% there.

Shay 55:05

Thank you.

Moni Oyedepo 55:06

Congrats.

Shay 55:07

It was by Maya Angelou?

Moni Oyedepo 55:08

Yes. Maya Angelou.

Shay 55:09

Okay.

Moni Oyedepo 55:10

You had it. Applause. Applause.

Shay 55:12

Thank you.

Moni Oyedepo 55:12

Applause. Applause. But the best way to find me, I have a website just feels random. I made a further fellowship. They didn't ask me to, but I just feel like I mean, be professional.

Shay 55:22

It's such a dope website, by the way.

Moni Oyedepo 55:24

Thank you.

Shay 55:24

It's like super clean. And yeah, it's very nice,

Moni Oyedepo 55:27

I like very simple, clean things. That's like, I mean, my room is not that I would love my room to be simple and clean, but I digress. But yes, monioyedepo.com. You can just see what things I've been doing over the years, social media, Instagram @momonilessprobs with M-O-M-O-N-I-L-E-S-S-P-R-O-B-S. Although that may or may not change the next few months, I've been told I should change my name to my first and last so people can find me. I own that domain. I own it, I have it, but it's like switching it over is such a thing because I'm not a fancy person anyway. So that's the best way to find me. I'm writing, submitting to more fellowships. And yeah, just seeing what life holds. But yeah, that's the best way to find me Instagram, Twitter @momonilessprobs.

Shay 56:07

Amazing. Okay, yeah, so go follow her on there, go check out her website. And then you'll get to see her projects coming up that the fellowships.

Moni Oyedepo 56:16

Yeah.

Shay 56:16

That she's that you're interning for right now. So, okay, last question. What advice do you have for someone who's having trouble having fun along the way? How can someone who's listening right now an artist, or creative have more joy along the way on their journey?

Moni Oyedepo 56:33

I think my brain laughed, and then my brain said, "Stop." And so honestly, like, for me, when I can tell I'm feeling miserable in the pursuit of creativity. I know, that's the time to stop. And, you know, it's just like you, you know, if you are annoyed or upset or things things aren't working. It's just like, I think that's a time to take a break. And just stop. Like, whether it's acting, improv, comedy, writing, whatever, just, no, don't do it for a little bit, maybe a few days, maybe a couple of weeks, maybe even a month. That's okay. Like, no, it can mean unless you have like some pressing deadline, like, no one is saying you have to be creative every single day or you. I don't even know I finished, like, nothing's gonna happen, for the most part, I think. And so it's just like, give yourself the chance to take a break. Give yourself a chance to just go outside, feel the sun on your skin, and walk in, you know, grab an ice cream cone just for shits and giggles like, no, stop, just stop, breathe. Like go over expectations. Most likely, whatever you're stressed about is not going to like, drastically change your life for the better or worse, mostly, usually. And so it's just like, take a break. And I think the problem is is like, you know, again, social media or just comparing jealousy, whatever it may be, we feel like, "Oh, if we take a break, we're gonna be left behind." And that's that was honestly my thing for many years. Even still now. Like, a lot of my close friends are also in corporate America. And so she's like, they all have like these fancy six figure jobs and you know, getting married and all this stuff. And I'm just like, just a random, creative. What do I do? You guys don't leave me behind? It's just like, no, and I've had some my friends be like, "Moni, are you serious? Like, are you serious? You're not gonna like, Moni, you, you bet on yourself. You're chasing your dreams, you're doing all this stuff. You're like, how in the world could you be jealous of us, we're jealous of you." And so it's just very funny to like, realize that, like, you have no idea how other people are admiring you. You have to also honor you. And take a break when you realize things are getting a little too crazy. You're letting too rough, you're getting too far in your head. Because it's not gonna get better, like you putting more pressure on yourself isn't gonna make the writing come isn't gonna make it? I mean, it could but like, do you want it that way? You know, so give yourself more breaks, I think is my biggest piece of advice, because that's something I've been actively trying to do now.

Shay 58:57

Yeah. I love that. Yeah, thank you for sharing. I think the same with me. I want to bring more laughter and joy and peace into my life. And I think it you know, when I was in LA, I'm, I'm in Atlanta now. But when I was in LA, I was it was all it was that grind life, it was that hustle. It was like, "You need to be working on your creativity every time you're not working your actual job." Right. And it's just not that. If you're working on a project right now, you're like, "Okay, I need to spend a couple hours writing every night or something." But if it's not that it's follow your intuition. And I think that's the skill that people need to learn is following their intuition rather than a skill of like productivity and, and this time management type thing. It's like if you follow your intuition, maybe tonight you don't need to work on this. Maybe tonight is the night for a break. Yeah, yeah. I love that. It's just being able to pause and not stay on that grind life.

Moni Oyedepo 59:54

Well, it's funny because it's like, I think it's two sides of the same coin. It's like you've got a stop and take a break and breathe. On the flip side, you actually do need to be doing.

Shay 1:00:06

Yes.

Moni Oyedepo 1:00:07

So it's just like, it's a weird duality and like, I think only you will know when it's time to do what on your journey, but it's like, you know, like, for me, I have not pretended to write anything for the past like two months. And I was okay with that. I was like, "Moni, as you finish fellowship, your shorts on Peacock, you just finished a pilot, it's okay. It's okay." And I would just do my job, hang out with friends, go horseback riding, do whatever. And I didn't care. But now I was just like, I was just feeling a little itch. You know, like, in my back of my neck, I was like, "Hey, it's been a little minute, you should maybe think think of an idea that you should want to write soon, because you know, you have all these other plans you want to do." And so it's just like, "Oh, yeah, I guess I do need to start writing again." And so it's just like, it's okay to take breaks. And sometimes they're much longer than anticipated. It's also important to do because the worst thing, and I can hear this from other friends, is like judging other people in their progress for what you think they are or are not doing. You have no idea what people are doing what, you know, at 2am in the morning, or, you know, in their lunch break or in their car. And so it's just like, I've never thought, "Oh, no, someone doesn't deserve something because X, Y or Z", because you have no idea what they're doing. And so it's just like, judging people can stop you from going because it's like, "Well, they didn't do anything. So I don't have to do anything either get to get ahead", and it's like, "No, no, that's, that's, that's not you." But also like judging people can also make you go too hard and not take breaks. And so it's just like, it's it's truly an internal gauge. I think the moral of my episode, podcast, whatever is, being more connected to yourself, being more grounded in yourself, not allowing other people expectations, judgments you have on yourself, other people to affect you. And truly just staying the course of your own lane, and using other people's information and all that good jazz and stuff, too. But it's like, we should stop. We should go. And we should, you know, honor like this fun random thing. Like let's go color. Let's go play the violin. And let's sit and write for three hours. You know, even when we sit, I've been avoiding an idea. So when we end this podcast, I'm gonna go sit outside and make myself map out, "What does this idea look like?" Because it does seem fun. I, you know, I thought more about it during my dance party today. And I think sometimes even doing that just like making yourself dance and you have no idea what's gonna come to your brain just from like, clearing it of all the worries and pressures of this crazy thing called wife. Yeah, anyway all that to say is take breaks, but also know you have to actually do shit too.

Shay 1:02:30

Yeah, yeah. Thank you for making that distinction. Absolutely. And thank you for taking the time to be here today to get all danced up and ready to give all your wisdom.

Moni Oyedepo 1:02:41

Yay.

Shay 1:02:41

Yes, please. If you are listening, go and share this episode on your Instagram tag Moni tag Level Up! With Shay and let us know what you liked.

Moni Oyedepo 1:02:52

Yes, please. Also, please watch Take the Job on Peacock.

Shay 1:02:55

Yes.

Moni Oyedepo 1:02:55

And my webseries Platonic is on YouTube. And I think that's it. Okat that's it, sorry.

Shay 1:02:59

Absolutely. And I will put those in the show notes so they can go directly to that. So definitely go check those out. Thank you again, Moni.

Moni Oyedepo 1:03:07

Thank you. This was so fun. Thanks for having me.

Shay 1:03:09

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Thank you again, everyone for listening to Level Up! With Shay we will see you next week.

(outro) Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If anything that Moni said today resonated with you please share this episode on Instagram and tag me @LevelUpWithShay and tag Moni. Go check the show notes for all of her social media links and follow her there. Also, there are links to watch her work on Platonic which is on YouTube and Take the Job on Peacock. Go watch them. Subscribe to Level Up! With Shay wherever you get your podcasts. Again, thank you so much for being here. It's time to level up!