The Importance of Taking A Break
On this week’s Level Up! with Shay episode, Shay shares the lessons she's learned from taking breaks. Life is not a straight shot of all work, it is a flow between work and play. Let us go into our hearts and be able to see what is right for us at different times. Cut out all of society's expectations of artists and be true to yourself and your journey.
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Transcription
Hello Level Up! Fam. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your patience and understanding with my inconsistency with this podcast. Sometimes, breaks happen. Break downs, break ups, can’t think of anything else. But this is something I’ve had to understand for myself. Giving myself grace when it becomes unbearable to do something. To take action. Or to not do something. When the tasks and to-dos pile up. The obligations take over. When life… happens.
As some of you may know and as I have shared on my most recent episode a few weeks ago, I started freelancing and building a creative editing and production business at the beginning of 2022. An entrepreneur I guess you could say. Although that word has a lot of baggage. And I’ve had a client in particular who I’ve loved working with. He is my good friend who I met in LA and we reconnected a couple months ago when I reached out about my laughter workshop. He is a Law of Attraction coach and a guide who channels messages. He’s really good at what he does. Anyway, I have been editing his podcast weekly for the past 2 months or so. He is in the process of moving at the end of February and because of that we have decided to take a break from recording. When he approached me with this idea, he said “it will be nice to take a break for about a month and get settled and then jump back in when it’s time”.
I loved his mindset about it. He made the decision to pause recording and was intentional about the break. To refresh, recharge, reenergize. And it really inspired me to think in that way with projects, tasks, obligations, and life in general.
These days, we live in a society which punishes people who take breaks. You’re always supposed to be doing SOMETHING. If you’re an actor and on top of the world, and then you leave the scene for a couple years, you are OLD NEWS. Matthew McConaughey talked about that on some podcasts about his book. He did his romantic comedy movies, was tired of them and left the scene to go be with his family. He got calls to take other romantic comedy gigs but he didn’t want them. He wanted a break from them. After that break, he came to terms with the fact that he may never be the star actor that he once was. But eventually, when it was time, he came back and KILLED IT.
Which, it’s like, “Great job. Fairytale story. Handsome straight white man leaves and comes back and no one bats an eye.” I get it. It may have seemed like an easy transition out of the scene and back in it. But I’ve gone through some situations, while not at the Hollywood level, where I was scared to take a break with something. With comedy, music, stand up, this podcast. I know Matthew McConaughey probably thought some of the same things.
“If I stop now, I will be letting people down.”
“If I leave, no one will remember me, I will get old and I will fade away.”
“If I stop, no one will take me seriously anymore.”
“If I take a break, will I even want to come back?”
“If I take a break, does this mean I’m giving up?”
“If I take a break, does this mean I’m ungrateful for all the support I’ve received so far?”
Now, I don’t know Matthew McConaughey personally, but I do know that he is still a human being. And I’m sure, just listening to this, you can probably relate with some of the things I’ve mentioned already.
But there are a few things I’ve realized in my life or studying other people’s lives. I’ll share 3 of them with you today.
ONE
One thing is, damn, I just want to live life! I want to do things that make me happy! I know that this podcast makes me happy. I know it does. I know comedy makes me happy. Music makes me happy! But what happens when I do the things that I know make me happy and then, they don’t make me happy anymore? What if, instead, they make me stressed, overwhelmed, give me brain fog from so much logical thinking? Am I just supposed to push through it?
Society says yes. I say no. Well, actually, I say it depends. Obviously it’s not the same for everyone on the entire planet, we all work differently, but for me, if I am not happy doing the things I know I love to do, then that calls for some internal work.
This internal work could show me that I need to show myself more compassion on the daily. Self-love, self-confidence, self-worth, self-respect. This internal work could also show me how I really, truly want to spend my time day in and day out. Do I want to work from 5am to 11pm everyday? What if a 7am-6pm day fulfilled me? This internal work doesn’t happen when you’re so focused on the external world - What will people think? Will people forget me? Lose respect? Will I be letting people down?
When you know what you think, know that you are still here for a reason, in whatever capacity, when you have self-respect, and when you know the only person you could let down is yourself and the source of all the love you are seeking could never be let down by anything you do.
There’s no love and hate. There’s only love. There’s no light and dark. There’s only light. Our brains and our egos cover up the truth to keep us safe. To keep us from being hurt, judged, ridiculed. But your source will never hurt you, will never judge you, will never ridicule you. It only loves.
TWO
Another lesson I’ve learned when taking a break with something is that the people who understand, stay around, support you no matter what - whether you’re doing a million things, or just living your life - is that they do not care if you take a break.
I could say, you don’t need anyone else, you just need yourself, who cares what anyone else thinks, it matters what you think ONLY. To some extent, that can be true, but I’ve discovered, coincidentally it has been over the pandemic, that community is so important. Whether that’s a Facebook group of thousands of people or just a couple of close friends, we as human beings need support, understanding, and compassion from those around us.
I’ve been in a position before where I wasn’t the best support system for some people. I would judge them whether or not they were working their asses off or if they were staying in on a Friday night eating pizza and binge watching tv. I was not a very good friend. I believed worthiness was based on how much you were doing for your career at every moment in time. Even if that meant you slept 5 hours a night to make shit happen. But I have been lucky enough to have people around me who loved and supported me unconditionally. People who have listened to me cry so many times about my struggles, my life, complications, problems and still stuck around. Still supported me and maybe most importantly, believed in me. Having people around you who always see the light in you, while also understanding the darkness has been one of the key factors of me continuing to do what I do, love what I do, and be who I am.
THREE
In today’s society, we have been conditioned to chase the carrot. We have been taught to use our brains instead of our hearts. We have been told to finish projects to completion because if you don’t “You’re a quitter. You’re lazy. You have no discipline. You will never be great.” I’ve studied a lot of people and, yes, some of them have said “Never quit.” but I think we take that in the wrong context sometimes. It probably wouldn’t be the healthiest thing to never quit a marriage just because that would mean you were a quitter. Or even taking a break in a relationship. And maybe not the best decision to stay at a job you hate, but get paid really well in because you’re just lazy. Or continue a toxic relationship with family members just because they’re your family when every time you’re with them, they nag you, warn you that you better get a real job, or talk about how you’re never home enough.
Our brains are screaming “DON’T QUIT, YOU QUITTER.” and our hearts are whispering “I’m not happy.” Our brains are screaming “YOU WOULD LEAVE THIS JOB?! SO UNGRATEFUL!” and our hearts are whispering “You can make such a bigger impact somewhere else.” Our brains are screaming “OBLIGATION” and our hearts are whispering “You deserve better.”
We need to go back into our hearts. Our source of inspiration, creativity, and love. Our brains are not that source. They are a tool that we use to bring all of that energy into creation. Into something tangible.
So I know if my heart is whispering “Take a break, it’s ok.” then I know I need to listen to that. I know what happens when I try to push through, when I try to make things happen, or run myself into the ground. What I DIDN’T know was what would happen if I stopped. The unknowns. They terrified me. And I must say, the pandemic has been a huge unknown, not only for myself, but for the entire world. And I know if I can be ok, and even thrive, grow, and flourish in these times, I can be ok (and thrive, grow and flourish) with whatever and whenever.
So, live your life how YOU want to live it, surround yourself with a supportive community who celebrates and believes in you, and practice listening to your heart over your head.
Thank you for listening to this week’s Level Up! With Shay. I am SO excited for what’s next because, guess what?! I have some amazing guests that I have interviewed and am completely inspired by and I can’t wait to share them with you! Keep an eye out next week for the first guest this season! Please subscribe to this podcast if you haven’t already - on Spotify and Apple podcasts. And if you felt inspired or entertained throughout any part of this episode and want to support even more, please leave a 5 star rating and review. It really goes a long way!
Follow me @levelupwithshay on Instagram. Share this episode. Tag me. Let me know you're listening. I can't wait to hear from you. And until next week, it's time to level up.
